Thursday 25th October 2007

Boo! Scare you did I. Well it is almost Halloween and as Captain Jack is ever the bringer of up to date folly then like it or not we are having a mini Halloween themed blog this week Ha Ha!

So lets get down to business then for the week. As I'm no doubt aware we will all be receiving the little knocks on the front door come Halloween night of strange little local kids dressed up begging for sweets the parents won't buy for them, but Halloween is a very superstitious time in the Christian calender and has been before it got all Americanised with the trick or treat routines annoying you while your trying to watch the T.V. so here are the top ten superstitions surrounding Halloween:

1. If an unmarried girl keeps a sprig of Rosemary under her pillow on Halloween night then it is said she will dream of her future husband.

2. If the flame on your candle blows out at a Halloween party then it is said you are being visited by a ghost.

3. If you ring a bell on Halloween it will scare the evil spirits away.

4. If you put your clothes on inside out and walk backwards on Halloween night will see a witch in the sky.

5. If a bat flies into or around your house on Halloween night it is said your house is being visited by ghosts or spirits.

6. It is said if you hear footsteps behind you on Halloween night not to turn back and look as it is the dead following you.

7. If a girl carrying a lamp goes to water on Halloween night she is said to see the reflection of her future partner.

8. The old saying of 'black cats being bad luck' come from the fact they were once thought to be consumed by evil spirits

9. If you feel you are being watched by a spider on Halloween it could be the spirit of a dead loved one.

10. Owls have often been a part of Halloween, and it is said they used to swoop down to consume the souls of the dying on Halloween. It was said if you pulled your pockets out and left them hanging you would be safe.

So I'm sure that's left you salivating to learn more about the spooky night, and just for a laugh here is how to Trick Or Treat according to your star sign.

Aries - Push aside the others to get to the door first

Taurus - Only eat the finest Swiss chocolates

Gemini - Go around everyones house in a costume get changed and go around again

Cancer - Stay at home and give out chocolates to other trick or treaters

Leo - Plans a costume for months but won't use it because someone has the same idea

Virgo - Dresses up in a new suit and tells everyone they are an accountant

Libra - Stays in front of the mirror all night deciding on a costume

Scorpio - Is just in it for the chocolate

Sagittarius - Manages to wander into the next town

Capricorn - Makes a list of the houses who give out the best chocolate and then optimizes the route

Aquarius - Builds a costume out of spare bulbs and a battery then spends the whole night tinkering with it as it shorts out.

Pisces - Misses the whole night to compose poetry to the moon

And last but not least here are the top ten ways to spot you are at a bad Halloween party if you should be unlucky enough to have to go to one!

1. Instead of chocolate your parents are handing out Jehovah's Witness leaflets

2. You end up at Madonna's house and she adopts you

3. Nobody likes your Farting Clown outfit

4. The Bride Of Frankenstein had a big, pointy hair and a small arse, not the other way round.

5. You find the gits who pelted the house and car with eggs and shaving foam were the wife and kids

6. You dress up in your partners clothes and nobody complains like last time!

7. While everyone else's wife looks hot yours looks like Cherie Blair in a shell suit.

8. The attempt to dress up as the hostess' dead husband just to get laid backfires.

9. The kids fail to see the funny side of your Road Kill Badger outfit

10. The bobbing for apples contest accidentally turns into a bobbing for Grandma's glass eye contest.

Now I think that's enough Halloween nonsense for this year, and remember folks, if the kids persistently knock on your door, boiling water is a great cheap deterrent to stop the little buggers from coming around next year, and you will leave your front step clean in the process.So back on to the new weekly feature which I'm sure you are equally eager to catch up on the X Factor.

So after Sharon Osbourne had two of her acts in the bottom two last week and appeared to of quit the show live on air, all the talk was if Mrs O would even be here to grace us with her pleasure this week. But fear not she sorted out her differences and reappeared looking as fabulous as ever, and even more determined to win. This weeks theme for the show was songs from movies, yet again giving certain acts a distinct advantage over others in the early weeks, but they all have to get and and perform. This weeks special guest was Celine Dion, who gave each act some tips on how to perform.

So onto the show and tonight was expected to be a lot less nerve wracking for the remaining contestants having been through it all last week. Here is the show run through with how they all went on.

1. Hope - Lady Marmalade - First up tonight hot favourites Hope burst onto the stage in suitably skimpy attire for this classic from Moulin Rouge. The routine was spot on and it looked a confident performance. The judges were wowed and all said they were as good as any girl band around at the moment. Should sail through this week.

2. Leon - Home - Last week Leon was very nervous on stage. This week he seemed to give a better performance, singing this track from Wedding Date, but was yet again slated by the judges. I think he is an easy target for the likes of Simon and Louis, as if he gains his confidence he will be a real threat to win this competition. Should get through but will need to improve to get further.

3. Beverley - I Have Nothing - Another powerful performance from Beverley singing this classic from The Bodyguard. This week Beverley went back to her basic look of short hair, and Simon said she was a lot less Stars In Their Eyes this week with her performance, a compliment i think! She did very well with a song that could of caused a lesser singer problems with the high notes. Will be safe this week for sure.

4. Alisha - Say A Little Prayer - Singing this one from My Best Friends Wedding. After being in the bottom two last week, she came out this week and gave a much more confident performance. All of the judges seemed to think she has a lot more to give, and maybe if she sang a more modern track she could show us how good potentially she could be. Will need to try and find a comfort zone to progress as she appears to be a bit overwhelmed.

5. Same Difference - Breaking Free - A song I think the majority of the audience seemed to have no idea about, taken from High School Musical. Typically in their style they performed the song well with dancers to boot. Not sure they will be able to pull this type of act off when the more difficult theme nights come later in the show, but for now they are doing their stuff OK. Louis was not nice with his comments to the group, calling them dated and cheesy, and when asked what they could do to change his mind he told them to go home! Fun to come in the next few shows if they get through.

6. Daniel - Build Me Up Buttercup - This was an absolute tragedy. He bounced out on stage singing this song from Something About Mary looking like a bad Karaoke singer. Terrible performance and terrible dance routine made sure he looked in trouble this week, leaving some of the others breathing a sigh of relief. All three other judges, Simon especially, questioned why Louis picked such a stupid song for Daniel to sing, and Simon accused him of putting in too much effort into his other artists. Will be very lucky to get thorough this week after this.

7. Rhydian - The Phantom Of The Opera - The most predictable song of the night for the operatic nutter. He had a great stage set with fire and red carpet and smoke machines, and yet again he wowed the judges with the best performance of the night so far, although this was bound to be his best week as its his comfort zone. Simon called the performance not just good, but World Class, and the score was specially adapted by Andrew Lloyd Webber for the show. He shouldn't win the show but he will definitely have a West End career after this as he is very good at what he does.

8. Emily - Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman - Last week she suffered as Leon did with nerves, but the shows youngest act came out fighting this week with this song from Crossroads. It was a lot more polished than last week, and showed that the girl can sing the ballads very well. She will have to do a lot more to win over the judges though as yet again Simon ripped into her saying she needs to really improve, but she hit back herself saying that as the youngest act she has to work twice as hard as the others. Good on you girl! Should be enough to get through.

9. Futureproof - If You Don't Know Me By Now - The boys were up next and gave us another very polished performance. Were a little more confident this week and it came across in the performance. All the judges seemed to be impressed by the act again. Should survive this week comfortably.

10. Andy - Staying Alive - This was an absolute howler of a song choice by Danni for the lad, and he looked very stiff in his attempted dance routine. Was bound to be picked apart by the judges, and Simon called it a bad Karaoke performance. Having said that the crowed seemed to like it. Not really his type of song but this is a competition and its about taking risks, but this may be one risk to many. Will be very lucky not to be in the bottom two with this song tonight.

11. Niki - My Heart Will Go On - One of the biggest movie songs ever, and with it being Celine Dion as the guest an enormous risk to sing her biggest hit to end the show with. But after last weeks brilliant performance Niki yet again didn't disappoint with the performance of the night. She gave a note perfect performance and got the credit she deserved from all four judges. She will sail through this week and if she carries on like this she will be a dark horse for the competition.

So as the votes were counted the bottom two were whittled down. One was obvious from tonight's performances the other was a bit of a shock. First was Daniel with his poor performance of Build Me Up Buttercup, and second up for the second week in a row was Alisha with Say A Little Prayer.

So both had to perform again for the judges vote and a place in next weeks show. Second time round was no better than the first for Daniel who seemed resigned to the fact he was going home. Alisha did seem more confident of the two in her second performance, and as Sharon rightly said she has performed on the show live more than anyone else so she should be confident. Louis and Sharon both voted to type and voted to keep in their own acts, so it was left to Simon and Danni to keep one of the acts and send the other home. Danni deliberated long and hard but felt Alisha had given more so voted off Daniel. Simon could not get the bad song choice out of his head and voted off Daniel with no hesitation.

So Alisha survived the judges vote for the second week running, leaving one of the early favourites on his way home. So here is the Captain Jack farewell report on loser Daniel.

Daniel is 31 years old and hails from London. He has a three year old son named Theron. He is a trained dancer and trained at The Royal Ballet until the age of 11. He worked briefly with R Kelly at Dreamworks, but after the company was brought out his planned single was shelved. His favourite food is sushi and his reportedly a very good golfer, something to fall back on now he has been booted out! Goodbye and good luck Daniel.......

So there you go another run down to the greatest Karaoke competition on the planet, and now that's all over with onto out Thursday night songs. This week I managed to get in five songs, four new one's for me and a guest appearance along with Shaun with Andy. So this weeks songs were 1. Shakedown by Bob Seger 2. Tie Your Mother Down by Queen 3. We've Got Tonight by Bob Seger 4. Shine by Take That and 5. Every Breath You Take by The Police.

Shakedown by Bob Seger link to video

This little ditty is from the Beverley Hills Cop 2 film and provided Bob Seger with his one and only number one record. The music was written by Harold Faltermeyer, who wrote the score for the film, and Keith Forsey, and the lyrics by Seger. Supposedly the song had originally been destined for Glenn Frey, Seger's old Detroit friend who had a big hit with The Heat Is On out of the original Beverly Hills Cop, but Frey was either sick or unavailable, so Seger got the nod. Its music video featured scenes from the film intercut with Seger and the band performing it, with some members approaching glam metal moves. Its one of those song that you know you've heard before but just can't place where from. Went down well and has the typical Bob Seger rock vocal to it. on the night rating 7/10

Tie Your Mother Down by Queen link to video

Them classics keep on coming tonight with one of the all time best rock bands and one of their best rock tracks. The Brian May guitar riff on this one is one of his best, and Freddies vocals are awesome as usual. It was released as a single from the band's 1976 album, A Day at the Races. On the album, the song is preceded by a one-minute instrumental intro, which is actually a reprise of the ending of Teo Torriatte. This was intended to create a circle in the album, typical, for example, of Pink Floyd's albums, and one of Brian Mays influences. May started writing the song in Tenerife, while he was working for his Ph.D. as an astronomer. He composed the riff on a Spanish guitar, and woke up early one morning and played it while singing ' tie your mother down ', a line he considered a joke. Later on Freddie encouraged him to keep the line, similar to what happened between John Lennon and Paul McCartney with the line ' the movement you need is on your shoulder ' from the Beatles song Hey Jude.
Though it was a long-time live favorite, the song had limited chart success, making only number 31 in the UK and number 49 in the US. Therefore it was not included on the band's first Greatest Hits compilation, although the song is featured on the Queen Rocks compilation album, together with some of the band's heaviest songs. on the night rating 8/10

We've Got Tonight by Bob Seger link to video

We've Got Tonight is the 1978 song written by American rocker Bob Seger, off his album Stranger in Town. A melodic, piano-based seduction ballad, it was a hit single for Seger and the Silver Bullet Band, reaching number 13 on the U.S. pop charts and becoming a mainstay of adult contemporary radio airplay ever since. Seger's recording was not an immediate hit in the UK, reaching number 41 there, but made it to number 22 during a 1995 re-release.
In 1983, country-pop star Kenny Rogers recorded the song as a duet with Sheena Easton, and made it the title track of his album We've Got Tonight. This time it was a huge crossover hit in the US, reaching number one on the Billboard Country Singles chart, number six on the Billboard Hot 100 pop singles chart. It also reached the top 30 in the UK. This left many in the UK thinking that the song was by Kenny Rodgers and not Bob Seger, but it is in fact essentially a rock ballad and not a country song. Recently it has been covered by Ronan Keating and Lulu, but it achieved limited chart success with that version. on the night rating 8/10

Shine by Take That link to video

So this was the guest appearance I told you about, with myself and Shaun providing backing vocals to Andy on this one. We have said we will perform this one on New Years Eve, and I'm sure with a bit of work on our dance routine we will entertain the crowds on the night. Fairly easy to sing, and in fact any excuse to put up a link to a Take That song is a good excuse. on the night rating 6/10

Every Breath You Take by The Police link to video

Every Breath You Take was written by Sting and originally performed by The Police. It was released on their 1983 album Synchronicity. The single was one of the biggest of 1983, topping the UK charts for four weeks and the Billboard Music Charts in the US for eight weeks. Sting won Song of the Year and The Police won Best Pop Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocal at the Grammy Awards of 1984 for the song. The song ranks number 84 on the Rolling Stone list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.

Originally thought to be about either angels, the government, or parents, the track was in fact written during the collapse of Sting's marriage to Frances Tomelty. The lyrics are the words of a sinister, controlling character, who is watching "every breath you take / every move you make". Sting said of the track " I woke up in the middle of the night with that line in my head, sat down at the piano and had written it in half an hour. The tune itself is generic, an aggregate of hundreds of others, but the words are interesting. It sounds like a comforting love song. I didn't realise at the time how sinister it is. I think I was thinking of Big Brother, surveillance and control. " The song is played by Sting's double bass, Andy's electric guitar, Stewart's drums, a group of four violinists, and a piano player.

The songs video is also one of the most iconic of the bands history. The video, directed by duo Godley & Creme, was praised for its black-and-white cinematography. Both MTV in 1999 and VH1 in 2002 named it as one of the best music videos ever, placing it 16th and 33rd in their respective top 100 lists. Daniel Pearl won the first MTV cinematography award for his work on the video.

It has been covered by a number of artists but most notable for Puff Daddy's collaborative tribute to murdered rapper The Notorious B.I.G., entitled I'll Be Missing You, which he also performed at the Princess Diana memorial concert earlier this year. on the night rating 9/10

So another week draws to a close and yet again we find ourselves a week closer to New Year with still no idea on what the theme for the fancy dress will be this time around. Ah well maybe this week we will find an answer! Bloody doubt it. Well Captain Jack is on holiday next week, but do not fear, it a week a home polishing my barnacles, so expect an extremely drunken Karaoke night next week with lashings of ale and a good old sing song. Until next time me old hearties bye bye.

" Homer: Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him. "

Homer J Simpson

Thursday 18th October 2007

Hello again folks and welcome to another dose of fun and frolics. Now this week was another quiet on on the old Karaoke front, and yet again it was left to the regulars to fill in the gaps left by the missing singers. So on this fine Thursday night I managed to get in another five songs this week, nearly all new and all pretty much classics. But that's for later in the blog, far too much exciting stuff to bring you this week!

Firstly I know I may of got the old blood boiling with the non P.C. list last week, but we men do like our beer ladies, so to go back on the side of fairness, here is a little list to put your minds at ease that I'm not a sexist pig, an I can be as P.C. as the next blog. For all you ladies out there that read this blog this one is just for you.....

Top Ten Things Only Women Understand

1. Cats facial expressions

2. The need for the same style shoes in different colours

3. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds

4. Fat clothes

5. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time

6. The difference between beige, off white and eggshell

7. Cutting your eyelashes to help them grow

8. Eyelash curlers

9. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made

And last but not least.........

10. Other women

You see I'm as P.C. as the next man me, all up for you ladies at any time I am...(If the wife's reading this ignore the last line dearest!)

So what else have I got planned for you me old hearties. Well this blog was really set up for Karaoke, and our Thursday night 'stand in the spotlight' spot at the Birches Head Hotel. Our little gang of Karaoke Warriors all gather once a week to sing our little hearts out, and of course we all end up chatting about the weeks events, you know the usual stuff, I rant on about football safe in the knowledge I'm right as I am the only one who ever actually goes to matches, and that was never a bloody penalty and what was Rooney doing back their defending anyway bloody Russians, well at least we can all go on holiday next year without worrying who we will lose out to on penalties, er sorry went off on one then now where was I, yes that's it football, whats happening on Eastenders, which is better PLAYSTATION 3 (Hint Hint Shaun me old mucker) or the Crap-Box, sorry X-Box, and of course there will be over the next 12 or so week a new topic of conversation on the horizon, and what it it I hear you ask, well its on every Saturday and we all pick our favourites, go on have a guess, its the worlds biggest Karaoke competition da da da dah The X Factor........

So for those of you daft enough not to of been on the planet for the last few years lets give a quick run down on the show. It the singing based reality T.V. show designed by Simon Cowell to bring the newest singing sensation for us all to enjoy, who of course could forget the winners of the previous years such as Shane Ward, Leona Lewis (I know this is the sarcastic part of the blog but she is actually very good) Journey South, Ben Mills, Andy Abrahams, G4, Steve Brookstein and of course my personal favourite and hero Chico!

So the format is east to get but is slightly added too this year with a new judge on the panel the ever lovely Danni Minogue joins Louis Walsh, Simon Cowell and the fabulous Sharon Osbourne. Each judge has a category that they mentor throughout the series, each with three acts in, and each week a theme is picked for the live shows. Each artist gets one chance to sing for their votes by the public, but after each performance Louis tells them they deserve to be there and they are great and that they will go a long way in the competition, Sharon tells them they are fabulous, Danni, well she is new so no recurring habit yet, and Simon, yes the brutally honest Mr Cowell publicly rips them to shred's if they hit a bum note, slags off the other judges song choices and ability to be on the show and generally acts an arse. The bottom two in the public vote have the chance to sing for their lives in a sing off and then the judges boot off the worst one. Ah what great television....

So as I said each judge has a category to mentor and three acts each in the show so here is a quick run down of who's who....

Simon Cowell - The Groups

Hope - Girl band in the style of Pussycat Dolls. Early favourites to win as Girls Aloud rumoured to be splitting up

Futureproof - Boy band in the style of Blue. Put together as a last minute act from bootcamp. Not too bad but no staying power

Same Difference - Brother and Sister combo. In a world of their own, completely potty, this years Chico! Will annoy everyone as they are very very cheesy.

Sharon Osbourne - Girls 14 - 24

Alisha - Good singer with big hair. Could be a dark horse for the competition.

Emily - Youngest finalist at only 15 years old. Great voice but could annoy with tears every week at the drop of a hat. Simon will eat her alive if she puts a foot wrong.

Kimberley - Very loud young lady. Big personality and a fair set of lungs on her. Could annoy to many people on the show.

Danni Minogue - Boys 14 - 24

Andy - Young Welsh lad with very strange eyes. Good voice and could be a pin up for the girls with the puppy dog look.

Rhydian - The one who will be the most talked about this year. Bit like Marmite this guy, you will either love him or hate him. Loves himself a bit too much and that could be his downfall. With his operatic style would be more at home on one of the Lloyd Webber thingys on the Beeb.

Leon - Young Scottish lad with a very Micheal Buble style voice. May go a log way as he too will be popular with the girls

Louis Walsh - 25 and overs

Niki - Great singer with a style similar to Chrissy Hinde. Should go long way as she will be great at the ballads.

Beverely - School teacher with as big a personality as her voice. Will blow the cobwebs out of any boring show. Very soulful voice and very much in the Gloria Gaynor style. Again will prove popular and should last a few weeks.

Daniel - Only guy in the over 25's. Should be a winner with the girls again. Rumoured to have already had a failed pop career in the past. Could do well as he is very James Blunt in style and he is popular at the moment.

So that's the artist out of the way. Apart from the lovely Danni joining the show, we also have a new host for the Saturday night show in the shape of Dermot O'Leary. Not always been a favourite of mine but I'm sure I will warm to him on the show in the future weeks.

So as for my bit well each week I will do a mini section in the blog on the Saturday night show, the theme, any shocks, on who I thought was best, the agonising sing off, and as they will disappear into oblivion after the show, a little bit about the losing act to be booted off as a lasting Captain Jacks Tracks tribute to the loser. So this week was the first show of the series, and the theme tonight for the acts was Number One Songs. The running order for tonight's show went as follows:

1. Kimberley - It's Raining Men - Started the show very nervously but to be expected. Sounded OK but got slated a bit by the judges. May be in trouble with going first.

2. Andy - I Don't Wanna Talk About It - Again a very nervous first performance. Sounded as if it was just too much. Simon said he will need more than the dopey eyed look to stay i the competition.

3. Futureproof - She's The One - The band sang the Robbie track well although it was strange to hear it done by a group. Did quite well and got quite good comments from the judges.

4. Beverley - I Will Survive - First great performance of the night. Sounded great and looked fantastic. Totally transformed from bootcamp. Should fly through tonight.

5. Emily - I Knew You Were Waiting - A solo artist doing a duet? Bad choice of song and showed the girl up a little. Again very nervous. Will have to improve loads if she is to last any longer in the competition. Simon had a field day!

6. Leon - Can't Buy Me Love - Sounded terrible. Bad arrangement in the style of swing version by Micheal Buble, but sang by an extremely nervous young man who was told by Simon he had taken the place of better singers. Will be out very soon unless he improves.

7. Same Difference - Tragedy - The cheese starts here. Who would of thought they would of done a Steps song! Problem is they will get the vote's as they do sing this crap with that annoying smiley face routine that the voting numptys like. Will be here doing this annoying drivel for a few weeks yet I fear!

8. Niki - Nothing Compares 2 U - For me the performance of the night. Very confident in her approach and has the vocal ability to be more than a one trick pony. Get great comments and will be here for a few weeks yet.

9. Alisha - Dreams - Was given a karaoke classic to sing and it showed with a very forgettable performance. Was told by Simon to worry as she had probably not done enough to go through. Will have to improve if she stays on the show.

10. Rhydian - I Would Do Anything For Love - The prize plonker of the night pulled off what the judges saw as the performance of the night. Sharon went on her 'Strange Boy, Weird Boy' routine as she clearly doesn't like him. Bit strange to hear it on a show like this but with a Meatloaf track the theatrical performance worked, although he may struggle on an ABBA week to find a song. Will get through this week no problem.

11. Daniel - Heaven - Bit of a flat performance from my own early favourite. The rock style is clearly not for him as he just does not have the voice to pull it off. Louis worst performer on the night, but should do better given the right songs. My biggest problem with Daniel is he appears to have no personality, and he may not make himself popular to the voters unless he finds one, may of just been first week nerves. Should be safe this week.

12. Hope - Umbrella - The girl band ended the show on a high with a great performance putting their twist on the song that was number one all summer by Rhianna. They look good and sound good. The judges were all impressed and they should fly through this weeks show.

So after the public vote the bottom two on the night caused its own bit of controversy. As Dermot reeled off name after name of acts through it seemed inevitable that two from one category were going to be in the bottom two, and they were in Sharon's Girls category. The bottom two in the viewers vote were Kimberley and Alisha. But this gave the show an added twist.

Clearly devastated at two of her acts being in the bottom two Sharon apparently quit the show live on air when asked by Dermot what she thought of the public vote. The two girls were looking rather sheepish as they prepared to sing for their future on the show, and Sharon was refusing to take part in the final sing off and judges vote, which left the two girls looking bewildered. So they each performed again. First went Kimberley. She fluffed her opening line on the track but got a lot stronger through the song and ended up getting through OK. Alisha went second and again seemed nervous at first but got through the song.

So it was left for the judges to vote off the first act in the series. Sharon walked away and refused to vote so her vote was void. Simon said based on vocal performance on the night he was voting off Kimberley. Danni said based on the performance and for the show she was voting off Alisha. So the deciding vote was for Louis. As always he went on his 'Its an extremely difficult decision' routine, he said it was between fun factor and talent factor and he went for the talent and voted off Kimberley. So with two votes against her she was off, but I think the real reason she went was her nerves on the night. She struggled with the song, and looked far to outlandish and old in her outfit, probably putting potential voters off.

So the first casualty of the series is one of Sharon's girls. Will Sharon be back next week, probably, but I'm sure she will come out fighting. So as promised here is a little resume on the first act to be booted off Kimberley.

Kimberley is 19 and hails from Tamworth. She lives and works at her parents pub 'The Fox' with her brother. She loves country music and loves to perform on the pubs karaoke regularly. She previously has performed on Barrymore's 'My Kind Of People' poor girl, and quit her job in a call center as she found it boring. She describes herself as an absolute nutter, who is very kind but clumsy. And she says her best moment was singing a solo at the London Palladium in boot camp. Goodbye and good luck Kimberley....

There you go folks. Never let it be said I don't bring in new features on a regular basis. As you can probably gather the blog will have a theme over the next few weeks so stay tuned. So on to our own little X-Factor at the karaoke on Thursday. This weeks theme was Rock for me and all of my tracks were selected by my mentor in the Pirates Who Can Sing Section by me! (This is going to far now) So tonight's five tracks were as follows. 1. Living Is A Problem Because Everyone Dies by Biffy Clyro 2. Under My Thumb by The Rolling Stones 3. Telephone Line by E.L.O. 4. Now I'm Here by Queen and finally 5. Rock And Roll by Status Quo.

Living Is A Problem by Biffy Clyro link to video

Not a lot to say about this one I haven't said before. Taken from the huge album Puzzle, this was the first single from earlier this year. Sang tonight as it was requested by Hayley and on November 13th myself the wife and Shaun will be venturing to the Carling Academy in Birmingham to see the boys live. Should be a great night and no doubt photo and a blog will follow! On the night rating 6/10

Under My Thumb by The Rolling Stones link to video

Next up is this classic by the Stones, and another new one to add to my list now at 18 different tracks. Blimey I'm almost on a full set for a Stones gig! Its first appearance was as an album track on 1966's Aftermath, and though it was never released as a single, it is one of the band's more popular songs from the period, appearing frequently on best-of compilations. Under My Thumb was featured prominently by the band on their 1981 USA Tour and 1982 European tour as the opening number at each concert. The Stones have played the song sporadically on subsequent tours in 1997-98 and 2006.

The song's lyrics, an examination of a sexual power struggle, were very much in tune with the rebellious, vaguely misogynistic attitude that the mid-'60s Stones had cultivated, though the concept of Under My Thumb is arguably more sophisticated, even psychological, than any of the other controversial songs the Stones had released up to that point.
Jagger's lyrics celebrate the satisfaction of finally having controlled and gained leverage over a previously pushy, dominating woman. The lyrics, which savor the successful "taming of the shrew" and compare the woman in question to a "pet", a "cat" and a "squirming dog" provoked negative reactions among some people at the time, especially feminists, who objected to the suppressive sexual politics of the lyrics. It can be argued, however, that the song is simply an examination of sexual malevolence and tension, and that the maliciousness of both the lyrics and Jagger's performance is theatrical and doesn't seriously advocate male domination. Many also note that the woman who is the subject of the song was previously the dominant figure in the relationship, and that that the singer was previously submissive to her, making the implications of the song more complicated than simple chauvinism. Jagger later reflected on the track in a 1995 interview saying " It's a bit of a jokey number, really. It's not really an anti-feminist song any more than any of the others.... Yes, it's a caricature, and it's in reply to a girl who was a very pushy woman."

The song is more moody that other Stones songs, with a riff more in line with R & B than the more guitar based riffs they are famed for. A great new one to add to my collection and I will hopefully do it again in the future. On the night rating 8/10

Telephone Line by E.L.O. link to video

Back to the classic old stuff with this little ditty from the Electric Light Orchestra. One of the bands more well known tracks. The song is track two on their 1976 album A New World Record and was the final single to be released from the band's LP until September 2006 when Surrender was released from the expanded reissue giving the band a chart position with a song released thirty years after it was recorded. The song charted in the Top Ten in both the UK and the US. and was always one of the bands most popular live tracks. One of my all time favourite tracks by the band. On a different note for all you E.L.O. fans who read the blog and can make The Oxford Arms in Newcastle on November 3rd, the fantastic ELO Experience tribute act will be playing that night and they are well worth a view as they are one of the best tribute acts I have ever seen. I did suffer during the high bits a little tonight, but all in all it's not too hard a song to sing. On the night rating 7/10

Now I'm Here by Queen link to video

Amazingly this is only my third Queen song of the year, after singing Somebody To Love back in February, and Spread Your Wings earlier in the month. So as I've not sang the real rock Queen tracks and the more ballad type songs so far, this one is a real rock belter of a track, and in my mind one of the best ever Queen tracks, and certainly one which showed the bands real hard rock roots. The sixth song on their third album Sheer Heart Attack, one of the bands albums with a real hard rock feel to it, it was written by lead guitarist Brian May while he was in the hospital. In the UK, the song hit number 11 on the charts when released as a single in 1975. The song has many features on it including Mercury, who hit some of the highest notes in his career, and in the way it was recorded, using many technique never used before. The lyric "Down in the city just Hoople and me" is a reference to when Queen was touring with the band Mott the Hoople earlier in their career, and towards the end of the song , the lyrics "Go, go, go, little queenie" can be heard, a reference to the Chuck Berry song "Little Queenie." There is very rare and subtle use of organ on the 'climb' coming out of the guitar solo, beneath the lyrics "Whatever comes of you and me..." When the song was performed live a double was used with lighting cues to create the illusion that Freddie was disappearing from one side of the stage and reappearing on another. In March 2005, Q magazine placed "Now I'm Here" at number 29 in its list of the 100 Greatest Guitar Tracks. Surprisingly I got through this one with no problems at all, and it sparked a mini frenzy into picking the next class song to be sang tonight by myself, Andy and Shaun. On the night rating 9/10

Rock And Roll by Status Quo link to video

Well tonight we end with the classic Quo, and one of their least know tracks Rock And Roll, released in 1981 from the Just Supposin album. Overshadowed by the other singles released off the album What Your Proposing and Don't Drive My Car, the mini ballad did chart at number 8 in the U.K. charts in November 1981. Now I could sit here all night and write page after page on the Mighty Quo, but this has been an extremely long edition this week so I will save you the suffering until another week when we may even have a full on Status Quo theme night. On the night rating 10/10

So there we go folks another week done and plenty for you to read and digest. I hope you all enjoy my X-Factor reports which I will try and make as entertaining as possible for you none X-Factor fans. If you are reading this early after publishing it I must apologise for my lack of colour and video links, but the blog central was playing up tonight and I was desperate to give you baying crowds your weekly fix of fun. If you read it later, and the colour has come back then ignore my previous drivel and just enjoy. Until next time folks ta ra.......

" Homer: Bad bees. Get away from my sugar. Ow. OW. Oh, they're defending themselves somehow. "

Homer J Simpson

Thursday 11th October 2007

Just to give you a little foresight into just how empty the pub was tonight. You could actually hear the Tumbleweed beating its way up to the door, or maybe it was the smokers trying to get back into the pub! So yet again it was left to the regulars to entertain the very few non singers who turned up tonight. In fact until the last few songs were sang not even 'others' turned out tonight (see Shaun's Blog for definition of others!). It is a worrying sign that the pub has taken this turn for the worse on Thursdays, although the Tuesday nights are apparently also suffering. This has got to be the fact that the landlord and landlady have now split up and this has put a tremendous strain on all the regulars and staff alike. The prices are far too expensive for an out of town pub as well.

We are advertised in the local press, and Andy is well known for his Karaoke nights, but the Thursday night is still not being advertised in the pub on the notices being put around. The pub has artists live on both Friday and Saturday nights, and most weeks these acts pack the place out with locals and their own fanbase, so I think the future of the pub is not yet too much in doubt, but our Karaoke night make be at risk if people don't start turning up to support us. Even Nicky didn't turn up this week to wail her tunes, and it has been noted that a semi new regular Raymond, has been missing for a couple of weeks after bringing his own disc in. Outrageous Pun Alert! In fact myself and Shaun were both 'Starting To Worry About Ray!' But after a bit of research on the old t'internet I think I found the real reason the pub was empty tonight. October 11th is National Coming Out Day, so everyone must of been at some of those namby pamby poncy 'clubs' for you know G.A.Y.S. Now I'm not one to mock sexual preferences in anyway, in fact I went gay myself for a bit, well apart from the sex bit I did, but if your coming out what better way to do it than by singing one of your anthems by ABBA, Erasure, Culture Club or Gareth Gates down at your local Karaoke night!

So with the lack of people it meant lots more song's to sing, and although I was only credited by The Shaunio Blogspot as having sang six songs, I actually sang seven (Details why to follow). Before we get onto the lengthy set list for this week, my lists of fun continue again this week with another little group of witty truths. Now I have been very P.C. with my lists over the last few weeks, so this week this list is strictly for the boys, complaints on a postcard please ladies!

20 Reasons Why A Beer Is Better Than A Woman

1. You can enjoy a beer anytime of the month.

2. Beer stains wash out

3. When a beer is flat you throw it out

4. HANGOVERS GO AWAY

5. Beer never has a headache

6. You can share a beer with your friends

7. Beer is never late

8. Beer is always wet

9. A beer won't get upset if you come home with another beer

10. You can always have more than one beer a night and not feel guilty

11. Beer doesn't demand equality

12. You can have a beer in public

13. A beer always goes down easy

14. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer

15. Beer labels come off without a fight

16. When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer

17. A beer will always wait for you in the car while you play football with your mates

18. You don't have to wash a beer to make it taste good

19. Beer doesn't have to be wined and dined

20. If you pour a beer right, you always get good head.

Steady ladies, being a man's man all this had to be said, but fear ye not me old hearties, I'm sure I'll find a suitable list for you girlie's to get your revenge back with next time.

So onto the reason we are here again, the songs. Tonight's seven little ditty's were as follows. 1. Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins 2. So Lonely by The Police 3. Maggie May by Rod Stewart 4. I Would Walk (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers 5. Dead Flowers by The Rolling Stones 6. Lola by The Kinks and 7. Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf.

Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins link to video

This forgotten classic was taken from the Top Gun soundtrack, and was one of Kenny Loggins biggest hits in the U.S., although it only got to number 45 in the U.K. charts. The track was co written by Giorgio Moroder of 'Together In Electric Dreams' fame. The Top Gun soundtrack is one of the most popular soundtracks to date. Harold Faltermeyer, who previously worked with both Jerry Bruckheimer and Don Simpson on the films Flashdance and Beverly Hills Cop, was sent the script of Top Gun by Bruckheimer before filming began. Giorgio Moroder and Tom Whitlock worked on numerous songs including "Take My Breath Away" and "Danger Zone". Kenny Loggins had two songs on the soundtrack, the other being Playing With The Boys. Berlin recorded the song Take My Breath Away, which would later win numerous awards, sending Berlin to international acclaim. After the release of Loggins' Danger Zone, sales of the album exploded, selling 7 million in the United States alone. Other artists were considered for the soundtrack project, but did not participate. Bryan Adams was considered as a potential candidate, but refused to participate because he felt the film glorified war. Likewise, REO Speedwagon was considered, but backed down because they would not be allowed to record their own composition. Loggins is probably more well known in the U.K. for his song from the title track of the film Footloose, which hit number 6 in the charts back in 1984. maybe a future karaoke night track! Luckily I had been practicing this one earlier in the night, so I kind of knew how it went, and it was a last minute request by Tina, due to it being one of her ring tones! on the night rating 6/10

So Lonely by The Police link to video

You know when you sing a song somewhere like in the bath or in the car and your convinced you could sing it live, well you can't believe me, and this was a prime example. So Lonely is a song by The Police, appearing on the 1978 studio album Outlandos d'Amour and released as a single in November 1978 and re released in February 1980. The single didn't chart on the first occasion but reached number 6 after the second release. The other singles from Outlandos D'Amour, Roxanne and Can't Stand Losing You, followed a same scenario of not charting very high in 1978, but doing very well on a re-release. This is probably due to the fact that The Police had their breakthrough in 1979. Sting has admitted that he used Bob Marley's No Woman No Cry as the basis for this song. " People thrashing out three chords didn't really interest us musically. Reggae was accepted in punk circles and musically more sophisticated, and we could play it, so we veered off in that direction. I mean let's be honest here, 'So Lonely' was unabashedly culled from 'No Woman No Cry' by Bob Marley. Same chorus. What we invented was this thing of going back and forth between thrash punk and reggae. That was the little niche we created for ourselves. " The little niche that Sting spoke of propelled The Police into one of the biggest bands in the world in the 80's, and they went on to release hit after hit in the 80's until they unofficially split in 1984. The band has recently got back together in 2007, and their reunion tour was one of the fastest selling tours in history. on the night rating 4/10

Maggie May by Rod Stewart link to video

Maggie May is a song written by Rod Stewart and musician Martin Quittenton and recorded by Stewart in 1971 as his first solo project not involving his group The Faces, although several members of The Faces appear on the album, Every Picture Tells a Story, and Ronnie Wood, now of the Rolling Stones, plays all the guitar and bass parts. The song expresses the ambivalence and contradictory emotions of a young man involved in a relationship with an older woman, and is thought to have been written from Stewart's own experience. It was initially released in the U.K. as the B-side of the single Reason to Believe, but DJs became more fond of Maggie May and, after two weeks in the chart, the song was re-classified with Maggie May as the A-side. In October 1971, the song went to number one in the UK, and simultaneously topped the charts in the United States. The album achieved the same feat at the same time, a feat achieved by only a handful of performers, notably The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel and Beyoncé. The song launched Stewart as a solo performer, and remains arguably his best-known song. A famous live performance of the song on Top of the Pops saw the Faces joined onstage by DJ John Peel who pretended to play the mandolin (the mandolin player on the recording was Ray Jackson of Lindisfarne.

Stewart himself was amazed by the song's success saying, " I still can't see how the single is such a big hit. It has no melody. Plenty of character and nice chords, but no melody. " The song re-entered the UK charts in December 1976, but only reached number thirty-one. No other act has released the song as a single, though Blur, Wet Wet Wet and Ben Mills have recorded versions of it. Despite Stewart apparently writing the song about his own experiences with an older woman, the phrase 'Maggie May' has become a synonym for an older woman abusing young boys. on the night rating 9/10

I Gonna Be (500 Miles) by The Proclaimers link to video

I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) is a song written and performed by Scottish band and brothers Charlie and Craig Reid better known as The Proclaimers. It was released on their 1988 Sunshine on Leith album, and subsequently as a single. It has become one of their most popular songs, reaching the UK top 20 at number eleven. The song has become a live staple at their concerts. The Proclaimers played it at 'Edinburgh 50,000 - The Final Push', the final of the Live 8 series of concerts held at Murrayfield Stadium on 6 July 2005, and to symbolise the conclusion of The Long Walk To Justice. The Live 8 concerts held around the world were designed to encourage the leaders congregating at the G8 meeting in Edinburgh to consider the plight of those in absolute poverty.
The song is popular in Ireland and Scotland, where, at Hampden Park, every time Scotland scores, the song is played and sung along to by the Scottish fans. It is the unofficial anthem of Edinburgh's Hibernian, the Proclaimers being fans of the team. Their song Sunshine On Leith is also played frequently at Easter Road, Hibernian's home ground. The song was featured on the soundtrack to the 1993 film Benny & Joon. As a result the music video features a young Johnny Depp, who starred in the film. The Proclaimers re-recorded the song, with Peter Kay and Matt Lucas, the latter two in the guise of their characters Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin from Phoenix Nights and Little Britain. There is a slight change in the lyrics with the words "roll 500 miles" replacing "walk 500 miles". This is because the characters Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin are both in wheelchairs. This version was released as a charity single for Comic Relief in 2007.It reached number three on the official UK Singles Chart on download sales alone, and one week later reached number one, where it remained for three weeks. It sold 126,000 copies in its first week making it the biggest selling number one of the year up to that point. Its sales were double that of the official Comic Relief single by Girls Aloud vs. Sugababes, and their cover of Aerosmith's Walk This Way. The Proclaimers' original recording also re-entered the Top 40 following the success of the Comic Relief version. When Andy and myself first sang the song in March it had just been released as the Comic Relief track, and in true Karaoke fashion we sang it as Brian Potter and Andy Pipkin. It was a hoot and got the whole pub laughing. This time we tried it aka The Proclaimers and it was an unmitigated disaster, probably due to lack of beer, atmosphere etc in the pub. Safe to say if we sing it again I'm going back to the Potter/Pipkin routine. on the night rating 2/10

Dead Flowers by The Rolling Stones link to video

Dead Flowers is a song by The Rolling Stones off of their 1971 album Sticky Fingers. Recording on the song began in December 1969 at the Muscle Shoals Sound Studio in Alabama giving the song a country music feel to it. According to some interpretations, the song is about a man whose girlfriend left him and because of his sadness turns to drugs to make him feel better.
The lines ' Well when you're sitting back in your rose pink Cadillac, making bets on Kentucky Derby Day, I'll be in my basement room with a needle and a spoon, and another girl can take my pain away ' is said to refer to heroin. The needle and spoon are common with heroin use. The song is notable for its use of the Stones' core members each playing their respective instruments, with Ian Stewart on piano and singer Mick Jagger taking up acoustic guitar.
The Stones performed the song in September 2006 during their A Bigger Bang Tour at Louisville's famed Churchill Downs, in reference to the previously quoted line from the song. A live cut from their 1994 Voodoo Lounge Tour can be found on the 1995 live album Stripped.

The song has also inspired several cover versions by bands more associated with hard rock than country music. A version by Townes Van Zandt, is in the Coen brothers movie, The Big Lebowski, in the final bowling alley scene of the film. Guns N' Roses performed the song at a number of shows during 1993 as part of their acoustic set. Additionally, Gilby Clarke of the band released a version of this, with Axl Rose on backup vocals, on his solo album Pawnshop Guitars. The Guns N' Roses song I Used To Love Her is inspired by the main riff of the song.
Steve Earle did a version in his 1991 album Shut Up And Die Like An Aviator, and Poison did a version on their 2007 album Poison'd.

The Sticky Fingers album by The Stones is one which spawned a number of great tracks, such as Brown Sugar, Wild Horses, Bitch, Sway, Can't You Hear Me Knocking and Sister Morphine, and many of the songs can be heard as staple live tracks on the Stones tours today. Sticky Fingers may just be the band's most drug-drenched album, as well over half of the songs mention drug use, while the rest merely allude to it. It was also the bands first release on their own lable Rolling Stones Records, having formally being with Decca. on the night rating 9/10

Lola by The Kinks link to video

The recent Radio One 40th Birthday Celebrations prompted me to have a go at this classic. Robbie Williams recorded a great version for the Radio One album, but the original will always be the best. Written by Ray Davies and performed by The Kinks, the song details a romantic encounter between a man and a transvestite he meets in a Soho, London club.
One of the Kinks' best-known songs, the single was taken from the album Lola versus Powerman and the Moneygoround, Part One, was released in June, 1970, and reached Number 2 in the UK charts and Number 9 in the US.

In his official biography, Ray Davies says that he was inspired to write this song after the band manager Robert Wace had spent the night dancing with a transvestite. Davies said
' I remembered an incident in a club... Robert Wace had been dancing with this black woman, and he said, ‘I’m really on to a thing here.’ And it was OK until we left at six in the morning and then I said, ‘Have you seen the stubble?’ He said ‘Yeah,’ but he was too pissed to care. '

Accounts also indicate a similar incident occurred at about the same time during a Kinks European tour in the mid-1960's, cementing the song's scenario in Davies' mind for later use. In late 1969, Davies' father encouraged him to focus his energy on writing another worldwide hit single after a long dry spell for the band, and Lola was the result. Davies and the Kinks spent extra time and effort recording and crafting the song at Morgan Studios in London during early 1970. The success of the single had important ramifications for the band's career at a critical time, allowing them to negotiate a new contract with RCA Records, construct their own London Studio, and assume more creative and managerial control. Lola also became their most popular sing-a-long anthem at concerts, as they struggled to regain a footing in the US concert market after a five year absence.

The first single release of this song had to be censored slightly, not because of its controversial sexual content, but because of the mention of Coca-Cola on the original version. The BBC refused to play the single because of this trademarked commercial reference, and so it was re-recorded with the phrase cherry cola instead, which at the time was not available in the U.K. as a soft drink. Davies actually had to fly back to England from a tour in the U.S. to overdub the master tape, then return to the U.S. This true story was widely used in the song's promotion on American AM radio and as always with banned records proppelled it up the charts. A second rumour about the censorship also exists which is that the reference to Coca-Cola or Coke, was in fact an underground term for cocaine, and therefore unacceptable for play on the BBC. The BBC also initially refused to play the Beatles' song Come Together, for the same reason of mentioning Coca-Cola. on the night rating 8/10

Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf link to video

It has been a long standing Karaoke tradition with this song that you either love it or hate it. I know most of our gang are definately in the hate it camp, but I prefer to sit on the fence with this one as, although I don't really like the song, I do love to sing it with the only person I can pull it off with, resident diva Leeane, whose dulcet tones have been around our Karaoke singing the same three songs (four if you count this one) for many a long year. She has got a great voice, probably because of the fact she has huge.....lungs, and we do seem to harmonise well on this one, probably because we are both loud!

PBTHDL was the second single of the number one selling album of all time by Meatloaf, Bat Out Of Hell, and was released in 1977 after Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad. It was dueted with Ellen Foley on the album version, but Meatloaf has performed the track with several other leading ladies, including Patti Russo on his recent tour. The song is unabashedly operatic, weaving several melodies throughout the duet, and treats its subject with lighthearted humor.

This three-part epic opens with part one Paradise with the singers reminiscing their days as a young high school couple on a date, going for a drive to the lake. Everything is well, and they are getting along just fine. " And now our bodies are oh so close and tight/It never felt so good it never felt so right.. " However, as the song progresses it's clear that the boy has a bit more on his mind than just holding his girlfriend. " Baby don't you hear my heart/You've got it drowning out the radio/I've been waiting so long for you to come along and have some fun/And I gotta let you know, no you're never gonna regret it/So open up your eyes I've got a big surprise, it'll feel all right/ Yeah I wanna make your motor run ". He continues to push the matter, and makes some progress, mirrored by New York Yankees radio announcer Phil Rizzuto broadcasting a portion of a baseball game, that serves as a metaphor at his attempts. Things are looking up, and it appears the boy is going to 'score'. " Here he comes, squeeze play/ It's gonna be close/ Here's the throw, here's the play at the plate/ Holy cow, I think he's gonna make it " when suddenly the female vocal bursts to life telling him to "Stop right there! "

The girl begins refusing to go any further unless the boy promises that he will marry her, love her forever, and stay faithful to her. Part two Let Me Sleep On It begins, as the boy can't make up his mind, begging her to continue on for the time being and he'll tell her his answer in the morning. This answer doesn't satisfy the girl and a argument takes place.
Finally, everything gives way for the boy and he yells out " I couldn't take it any longer/ Lord, I was crazed / When the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave / Started swearing to my God/ And on my mother's grave/ That I would love you till the end of time / I swore I would love you till the end of time "

As part three Praying For The End Of Time begins, things snap back to the present instead of reminiscing the long-ago date. Ironically, things are no longer perfect, but the boy and the girl are sticking to their vows, despite wanting everything to be over and done with. " So now I'm praying for the end of time / To hurry up and arrive / 'cause if I got to spend another minute with you I don't think that I can really survive/ I'll never break my promise / Or forget my vow / But God only knows what I can do right now/ Praying for the end of time / It's all that I can do! / Praying for the end of time / So I can end my time with you! " To end the song fade out with the couple both singing " It was long ago and it was far away and it was so much better than it is today. " Ah young love gone wrong, now there's a story we don't hear very often. on the night rating our gang 0/10 rest of pub 8/10

So there we have it folks a very long week of songs draws to a close. Not a bad week of songs this week, and I do have to admit to secretly liking the Meatloaf duet with Leeane, but only once a year! So until next week folks when I will come up with another hopefully great list of new songs be good out there, and I leave you again with a quote from the great man himself.

" You know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button. "

Homer J Simpson