Tuesday 11th December 2007

Well its said that absence makes the heart grow fonder. In some instances that is true, in others not so. The fact we seem to of trod on some toes on a Tuesday night, mainly thanks to the fact we have had our night taken from us, has got nothing to do with it at all. More to the fact that the Thursday team are obviously the more talented bunch of singers and that jealousy has taken hold may play a part. Or maybe that certain readers of this think that they are fat, sorry 'big' enough to take on the might of the Thursday team. Again a huge overshot on their part. The fact is that our little band of merry men and women are just too much of an entertainment extravaganza for them to cope with, stealing the limelight from their sorry little lives with delusions of grandeur, you know things like, thinking they are funny when they aren't, thinking they can sing when they can't, thinking they are entertaining other people when, quite clearly from the lack of punters on a Tuesday, they definitely aren't. So as I said earlier, absence make the heart grow fonder may not be appropriate for what happened tonight, but I felt abstinence made my heart grow fonder for not lowering myself to the levels of petty behaviour of individuals whose day will come, unfortunately for them, sooner than they think. This week I decided that I would leave the singing to the 'professionals' to show us how it's done, or more realistically, to see how bad the night would become if the Thursday team were not around to liven the place up with real singers, and real entertainment and making people laugh for being funny, and not just being a joke.
So this week is all about making a point. Piss us off at your peril, as we will come back fighting, and as has been done in the past, we will overcome any obstacles and leave them trailing in our wake.
But enough about the lack of singing I threw in this week, lets get back to the blog. Now I'm not sure if any of you have noticed, but Christmas is just around the corner folks. As an ever willing public servant, my Advent Calender has been keeping you all informed as to how many shopping days are left until the big day, more importantly how long it is until Shaun gets a PS3 so the online gaming between us can commence ha ha! So with all this in mind I will try and make the next couple of blogs the most Christmassy that is bloggingly possible. So to start off with this week here is a little Christmas song for you to enjoy.





I knew there was something different about that song when I first heard it. So as the big man, or Santa to his friends is busy now making his list and checking it twice, lets spare a thought, well ten thoughts to be precise, for poor old Mrs Claus. She does have it tough you know, so just so you can feel a little sorry for her, her are her Ten Biggest complaints.


10. That 'bowl full of jelly' is not amusing when its on top of your head
9. 365 days a year of freezing weather equals 365 days of elf wisecracks about switching your headlights on.
8. Managing toy production, keeping elves in line, cleaning up after reindeer....Meanwhile FatBoy sits around for 364 days of the year and gets all the glory.
7. Two Words "Reindeer-Style"
6. One little elf sock in the wrong wash and you have a whole load of pink underwear.
5. Thanks to Eminem and 50 Cent, the elves have become tattoo wearing, attitude copping little nightmares.
4. Fat Boys has been despondent ever since santatoyz.com IPO fell through.
3. He can remember 2.4 billion kids have been naughty or nice, but can he remember to change the toilet roll when its empty? Noooooooooooo
2. The whole "knows if you have been bad or good" thing is a bugger if you want to cheat at Trivial Pursuit.
1. Have you ever tried to get squished elf stains and reindeer poop out of red velvet trousers.

So after all the problems of being Mrs Claus, lets get down to the nitty gritty that we all have to face, Christmas shopping. Love it or hate it we all have to do it, but wouldn't it be more fun if a trip down town was as mush fun as this.......







So the merriment is over for now, and as you all are sure of what comes next, here it is folks, the X-Factor report.


So the competition is really hotting up now, and upon us now is Semi Final week. This week all four remaining acts get to perform two songs again. The first song is one chosen by their mentor, the second is one chosen by themselves, meaning that as their choice is the second song they perform, its the one most likely to catch the voters ear, and decide if they progress into next weeks final. Off screen the in fighting that has been going on between the judges, mainly Danni, Sharon and Louis, had in the last few shows, boiled over into the live shows, but this week Simon and the producers called for the bickering to stop, but that has never stopped Louis or Sharon before. So on with the show.

Judges Choices

1. Niki - Songbird - A much more confident performance than she gave last week. She looked fantastic tonight, and after a tough week last week from some of Simon's comments, she rose to the challenge to prove what a great voice she has got. This type of song brings out a confidence in Niki that she lacks in when she tries to change her style too much, but this was spot on, and the huge applause and standing ovation from Louis and Sharon boosted her confidence. Sharon said she sang the song beautifully, Danni saying we have found a true songbird and the performance was beautiful, Simon thought it was dreary rather than beautiful, and that it was luck she had a second song, and Louis, quick to defend his act said it was a great performance and that she wants to be in the final more than anyone.

2. Leon - The Very Thought Of You - After his growth on this show over that last few weeks, then nothing surprises me anymore about Leon. He was a little nervous at first, but as the song went on he grew into the confident Leon we have had on in the last few weeks, and he even managed to serenade a handily placed babe in the audience, something he would of been terrified of doing in his first weeks on the show. Again the vocals were a little shaky at first, but when the confidence kicks in he is brilliant. Louis said he has come such a long way and is well on his way to being the new Michael Buble. Sharon said he was so smooth, and that he had grown in confidence, Simon called it a bit corny and not as good as he had been recently, and Danni said it was her fault if it was the wrong song for Leon, but she knew how much he wanted to make it to the final.

3. Rhydian - Bridge Over Troubled Water - No troubled water this week for Rhydian. After he showed us his nervousness last week, he came out a lot more confident this week and performed like the shows favourite to win. His vocal was much better than last week, and all the big notes were hit perfectly, and with great timing. Another world class performance meant another standing ovation from all the judges and the audience. Louis said it was his best performance of the series and it was amazing, Sharon said it was unbelievable and breathtaking, and the fact it was less operatic, it showed he had another aspect to his voice, Simon said it was absolutely bloody fantastic and in a different league to everyone else, his best of the show so far, and Danni said he could release it as a single now.

4. Same Difference - Chain Reaction - Would you believe it if I said this was cheesy! Well what did you expect from Simon Cowel's performing monkeys. The Same Difference circus was in town, complete with strongmen, flame eaters and trapeze artists for another over the top production bursting from our screens and blatantly doing their utmost to get votes from the under fives! Louis said he couldn't believe they were still in the show and that it was far too over the top, Sharon said the song didn't show off their vocals well enough, Danni said the song was a hard song to duet, and Simon defended his act saying that he knows they are not the best singers in the show, but lots of people will love it, and Louis is just trying to shatter their dreams.

So as the first four songs didn't all go down as well as the acts would of hoped for, the contestants now had the chance to redeem themselves with a song they have chosen, and with this being make or break in the voting, the gloves were on for a fight to the finish.

Contestants Choices

1. Niki - One Moment In Time - She had to come out fighting after the first round and she did just that. A brilliant vocal performance by Niki, a million times more confident than she had been first time around. As she has proved in the past, Niki is more confident singing the powerful ballads, and you can't get more of a ballad than a Whitney Houston song in full flow. The performance was one of her best and she looked and sounded like a finalist. She was rewarded this time with a standing ovation from all the judges. Sharon said it was the perfect song for her and a brilliant performance and that she hoped she had done enough to get through, Danni said she knew how to wow an audience and it was brilliant, Simon said it was more like the proper Niki and it was brilliant, and Louis said she deserved to be in the final with that performance.

2. Leon - How Sweet It Is - Again Leon had to come out this time fighting for his place in the final, and he did with this much more uptempo performance. Back in his comfort zone with this song, and his energetic performance had the whole crowd up and dancing along with his. The jazz style is not to everyone's liking, but this is contemporary and modern, and we don't have a British act who can pull it off, so Leon is unique. Louis said he looked like he had been doing it for years, Sharon said it was confident and professional and a great song choice, Simon said it was too Jazzy and it might not of connected with the viewers and Danni said Leon was a star and it was brilliant.

3. Rhydian - You'll Never Walk Alone - As a Man United fan I hate this scouse anthem, but I will try to be fair. It was a safe choice by Rhydian. His vocals were as good as ever, but this was not one of his better performances again, and maybe the fact Niki and Leon did so well before him the nerves had kicked in a little. As this is the possible last time he may sing on the show you might of expected him to try something a bit different, but it should be enough to get him through. Louis said it was amazing and should see him in the final, Sharon said it was a great song choice sang very well, Simon said he had to be part of the final and he was a stunning performer, and Danni said it was inspiring, world class and he should be in the final.

4. Same Difference - Never Had A Dream Come True - The usual VT beforehand gave us the sob story of how Sara had been bullied as a child and that being on stage was her only escape from reality. Well she got that right, as you can't get further from reality than a Same Difference performance. This was again another blatant plug for votes, as the pair performed on stage like a scene from Winter Wonderland. It was complete at the end when Sara burst into fake tears as the song ended, but soon switched off again long enough to ask people to vote for them. The performance was not as good as the three others had been, and as has happened before, her vocals overpower Shaun's vocals, leaving it more like a solo rather than a duet. Louis said it was like watching a Christmas scene and better singers were in the competition, Sharon said it was nice to see them without all the gimmick's, Danni said she loved it and it was better than the original (Not Hard Danni), and Simon said it was one of his favourites by them and it was a great performance.

So after the votes had been counted and confirmed in it was down to Dermot to read out who would make it to the final next week. So yet again in true X-Factor tradition, here we have in no particular order the acts through to next weeks final.

Same Difference

Rhydian

Leon

Niki

So as you can see a very emotional Leon was visibly gutted that poor Niki had gone out and he had made it through, although I think the biggest shock was not the Leon and Rhydian had made it to the final, but that Same Difference had. The look on Louis Walsh face said it all. And to make it worse her farewell performance of One Moment In Time was even better with the pressure off her, but too little too late I'm afraid. But the show always throws up it's shocks, and I'm sure this won't be the last we hear from Niki. So here is her little Captain Jack farewell..........

Niki is 34 years old and from Tamworth. She works as a catering manager at a school. Niki applied for The X Factor after finding an application form for her in her recently deceased dad’s belongings. Niki’s Dad went to every gig with her and had been her driving force so she is taking part in honour of his memory. Niki has been in bands since the age of 12 and at 16 was signed to PWL but never experienced any chart success. Having so many knocks early on in her life dented Niki’s confidence in her singing ability but she is hoping this experience will bring back some self belief in herself. Niki lives with husband Darren and they have two boys, Morgan 12 and Jonah 10. Goodbye Niki and Good Luck........

So onto the final next time round and Leon, Rhydian and Same Difference will battle it out for a million pound record deal and a shot at the Christmas number one record. After the last couple of weeks of shocks, then who knows who will be the final winner of the show, but Rhydian is red hot favourite, and the others will have to go a long way to stop him from being the probable winner by a huge margin, unless their is another shock waiting for us.

Another great week over and done with, and as its Christmas and we all know how mush we love to sit around the telly and watch the re runs of the funniest moments from Christmas past. Thank god for UK Gold. Enjoy...............




" Homer: And did you know...that little baby Jesus grew up to be...Jesus? (everyone gasps) I know, it's weird, isn't it? "
Homer J Simpson

7 comments:

Karaoke Royalty said...

You are so talented that you try to sing power of love I swear I could see tumble weed rolling through the pub and NO ONE not even your "Thursday night crew" clapped. I wish I had your talent!

Noelia said...

Sad, deluded.

Hayley said...

Yes i bet you do wish you had even an ounce of his talent you sad, pathetic man. you are the joke of the pub and you dont even realise it

Karaoke Royalty said...

Well said Hayley we have to agree that Captain Jack is a little sad and deluded.

Hayley said...

Get a life Karaoke royalty!

Karaoke Royalty said...

Hayley you are never sure who is making these comments but its not who you think it is

Captain Jack said...

Keep on loser. You may think you are funny, and I'm sure all in the asylum think you are, but with your obvious problems that you already have then if i was you i would back off now before you say something you regret when you are eating through a tube! Believe me when I tell you no one likes you at the hotel so do us a favour and fuck off.