Thursday 21st February 2008

Hmm me thinks these signs are getting a bit out of hand! Still me old hearties, who said that I don’t enjoy the odd bit of signage going up on the blog to brighten it up a bit. After last weeks ‘ Love Blog ’ or ‘ What’s Love Got To Do With It Blog ’ or ‘ If you can’t stand the heat cover it with a damp cloth ’ {Bit of a Carry On theme there!} then this week will not surprise you that it is a Brits saturated blog. Well it is apparently the music industries event of the year, which means it is usually a pile of poop, but this year it was presented by none other than the Prince Of Darkness himself Ozzy Osbourne, with his better half Mrs O, or Sharon as she is known, and with that and that only in mind I will bring a Brits report to you later in the Blog to let you see who won what, and with my little take on if they deserved it or, as the case will probably be, not!
As for the rest, well of course it’s all here again. A classic track for your listening delectation, a great joke, another Hot Chick, another game for you to play, a report on the Rolling Stones ‘Shine A Light’ film I mentioned in last weeks blog, and another four karaoke classics for you to enjoy, plus lots more on the side, such as this for instance.
In my haste to find funny things for you to enjoy I stumbled upon this letter sent to a woman about her husband, who got himself banned from the local supermarket. Me thinks it may have been his way out of going shopping with the wife!

Dear Mrs Fenton,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We are unable to tolerate this commotion any longer and may b forced to ban both you and your husband from our store.
Our complaints against your husband are listed below and CCTV footage has been taken to back up the complaints.
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and placed them randomly in peoples trolleys.
2. July 2: Set all the alarms to go off in five minute intervals in the Housewares section.
3. July 7:Left a trail of tomato juice leading to the women’s toilet area.
4. July 19:Walked up to several female employess and said in an official voice ’Code 3 in fish dept get on it right away’
5. August 4:Moved the caution wet floor to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping dept and told other shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding dept.
7. September 23: When asked by a new trainee if they could help him he lay down on the floor and started crying, shouting why cant you people leave me alone.
8. October 4:Used the security camera as a mirror to pick his nose.
9. November 3: Ran around the store suspiciously and humming the theme to Mission impossible.
10. December 3: In the car spares dept he used funnels to practice his Madonna look.
11. December 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through shouted Pick Me Pick Me.
12. December 21: When an announcement came over the tannoy he lay in the foetal position screaming Oh No it’s the Voices Again
And lastly, and most seriously.
December 23: He went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile then started shouting Oi there’s no paper in here.

Regards Tesco

Who says Tesco don't have a sense of humour. Now as we march on through yet another weekly delve into blog heaven, we now get to this weeks classic track.

Captain Jacks Classic Track #5

Def Leppard - Animal 1987

Animal was the first single off the hugely successful Hysteria album by Def Leppard. It also marked the bands first top ten hit in the UK, reaching number 6 in August 1987. Animal has been said to of been the hardest song on the album to record. Although the band wrote and first recorded it in 1984, neither the band nor the producers were able to produce the desired sound they wanted for nearly two and a half years.

However the effort paid off when Animal was released as the lead single in the UK. After the release of the bands Pyromania album in the UK the unforgiving rock press put about rumours that the band had ‘sold out’ their UK fans to set up in the US, a no no in the 80’s for British rock bands, but the quality of the single and the album made the band one of the big players in the UK rock market, due to the worldwide success of the album, leading the fns to also start buying the Pyromania album and returning that to the UK charts.
In the US the lead single had been Woman, but it performed badly in the charts, but it started a run of ten consecutive top 40 singles in the US charts.
Of course this was the MTV years and the band used this to full effect with the video, not only seeing Rick Allen for the first time using his electronic drum kit on screen, but for the fantastic video shot in a circus, showing the band doing what they do best. The video was shown constantly on MTV for most of the summer of 1987, and pushed the band back into the limelight in both the US and UK charts.
The UK b-side ‘Tear It Down’ was written during a recording session after the Hysteria album had been fully recorded, but it was also such a great track it received nearly as much airplay as Animal, and subsequently was re-recorded for the Adrenalise album.
But the band success was tinged with a huge event that almost saw the band ripped apart at the very core, and went on to be one of the most fantastic stories in Rock, which made drummer Rick Allen a legend.
The band started to record the Hysteria album in Ireland in 1984, with Jim Steinmann, Meatloaf’s producer, working with the band. As the band broke for the usual Christmas break, on 31st December 1984 drummer Rick Allen was involved in a terrible car accident on the A57 just outside of his hometown Sheffield. Whilst driving his Corvette he lost control on a sharp bend and went through a drystone wall. Allen survived the crash, but lost his left arm in the accident. The rest of the band were about to call it a day, as they didn’t want to continue without Rick as drummer, but to keep his spirits up in hospital, Allen continued to practice with pillows, and using his legs to do the work usually done with his left arm.
As he recovered, he began to work alongside Simmons Drums to design an electric drum kit. Less than two years after the accident, Rick made his full live comeback as the band played at the 1986 Monsters Of Rock Festival at Donnington, with an emotionally charged ovation by the British rock fans following his introduction by Joe Elliott.
The finishing touches were then put onto the now eagerly anticipated Hysteria album, and it went on to be one of the best selling rock albums by a British Rock band in the world. The album's goal, set out by Lange, was to be a hard rock version of Michael Jackson's Thriller, in that every track was a potential hit single. The unique way the album had been recorded, with each band member recording their parts separately, was an extremely painstaking way of recording an album, but it paid off with seven of the songs being released as singles off the album, including Love Bites, Rocket, Women, Armageddon It and of course Pour Some Sugar On Me. The worldwide success of the album also meant that they were the first British rock band to hold the top spot in both the US single and album charts.

Another classic track for you to enjoy next week. Boy how these songs bring back memories for me, just hope they do the same for you out there in reader land.

And now ladies and gentlemen its time to hit the tickle button as we delve into another of my unforgetable................

Now you will have to bear with me with this joke of the week as it’s one I happened to have had given me in a bit of a rushed state, and if some of the elements are a bit out, then it may not be as funny as when I heard it, but I had been drinking at the time, anyway here goes.

An elderly gentleman goes to the Doctors for a full medical. The Doctor checks his blood pressure, his eyesight, his hearing, his reflexes, takes a blood sample, and then hands the old gent a tub.
“ What’s that for? ” the old guy asks. “ Well I want you to take it home with you tonight and bring me back a sample of your semen. Please ensure you fill it to the top. ” said the Doctor.
The old guy takes the tub and wanders away looking a bit bewildered. Anyway the next day he returns to the surgery and takes a seat in the Doctors office.
“ Did you bring in your sample ” the Doctor asked. The old guy handed over the tub, still empty.
“ What happened ” asked the Doctor.
“ Well ” the old guy started “ I went home and explained to the wife what you had said. I tried with my left hand - nothing, I tried with my right hand - nothing, I asked the wife to have a go and she tried with her left hand - nothing, she then tried with her right hand - still nothing. Then we phoned our son and he came round with the grand kids, they all had a go and nothing happened. Then Ethel who lives next door came round, she put it under her arm - nothing, she even put it in her mouth and tried sucking on it for a bit - nothing, We asked the milkman this morning when he came round, and he was fiddling with it for 20 minutes and still nothing. Not one of us could get the bloody lid off! ”

Another great rib tickler there, but now the feature that some call pointless for some reason! I don’t know I spend my time watching these films for you only to have it thrown back at me, you know the hours I spend watching these films, listening to these songs and endless hour of staring at Hot Chicks is all for you out there, and to think some of you find this section un-sexy. Still lets crack on with another edition of………….

Captain Jack Recommends

So anyway this week I put my foot down and insisted on watching some action. And what I came up with didn’t disappoint. The other half has often said that my film choices have often thrilled her in away she has never been thrilled before. How this is I’m not sure as she is often asleep before the credits have even finished, but not to be put off this classic will leave you all very happy indeed.
It all begins with a scruffy young bloke named Busted, well he was named after one of those crappy pop bands anyway. Anyway he’s got a mate who claims to be a scientist of some kind but keeps a huge guitar amp in his basement to attract young lads round, if you know what I mean!
Anyway this dodgy Doc who was named after a colour, Hmm I think it was Beige or something, well he asked Busted to meet him in a car park at 1.15 in the morning, nudge nudge! Well Busted is a bit stupid, due to the fact all his family are numptys, so he toddles along to the car park to meet up with the Doc. Well it turns out the Doc had invented a time machine, which he was going to use to find out the Superbowl Winners for the next 25 years, then return to put money on them to win a fortune. Well to make this thing work, which happened to be made out of one of those dodgy Irish cars, I think it was a Ford Escort, well it needed extremely strong petrol now was it BP or plutonium, anyway it was nicked by some ropey Arabs.
Well they turn up an all hell breaks loose, the Doc gets shot by the Arabs and Busted jumps in the car and starts to speed off. Well this BP fuel must be good as when he gets up to 30 mph in his Escort it blows up and sends him into the past. Well it turns out he has been sent back 30 years and with a bit of meddling his accidentally stops his parents from meeting by waking up in his future mums bed with a pair of purple pants on.
Now he figure the Doc would be the only one who could help him, so he goes to find him, but the Doc was even more nuts in the past, and thinks Busted is barking as well. But he persuades him when he tells him Ronald Regan ends up as president! Well when Busted tells Doc in the past that he need BP to get home, he tells him BP is not available yet and the only way to start an Escort now would be to jump start it with a bolt of lightning.
Well they then have to get his parents to meet up and fall for each other, but his future Dad was a prat, and his future mum had the hots for him!. So he arranges for them to meet at the Underwater Disco, where Busted played with his Banjo. Well the prat beats up this big Biffa bloke and Busted’s future mum thinks he’s the hot one now, so they get back together.
Well with that all sorted he drives his Escort into the lighting and whoosh he’s sent back to where he came from, but this time instead of his family being freaks they are now all loaded and cool, which was nice. Well when he finds this out he decided to keep his mouth shut, clever boy. In effect the film is all about going back into the past and the going back to the future. Now what the hell was it called, you know it’s almost there, I can see it you know, now what the bloody hell was it called, that’s it……………Carry On Up The Khyber

And I'm sure your time will come Angelina, especially as you do have the qualifications necessary to get into Hot Chicks, you know norks and being hot. So now we are here again with this weeks ......................

Captain Jacks Bull Plop Story Of The Week

Featuring Guest Artist Ronnie Wood

So the time has come to see what our celebrity artist Ronnie Wood has come up with this week, and with it being Brits week, where else would you expect a musical legend to find his story of the week. Would it be the Arctic Monkeys taking the Arctic Michael out of the Brit schools, no. Would it be the re-emergence of Take That as a force as a live act, no. Would it be Ozzy making some fabulous fluff of lines in one of his links, surprisingly no.
No this week’s story involves a celebrity doing what he does best in his own way. Media watchdog Ofcom received 43 complaints about the Brit Awards from viewers, and not all the complaints were about Mika actually winning anything!. Most viewers who contacted the body about ITV1's live broadcast were upset by bad language.
Host Sharon Osbourne turned the air blue when comedian Vic Reeves took to the stage. Vic appeared to forget which award he was there to present. Osbourne accused him of being drunk, and yelled a string of obscenities. Reeves later blamed his confusion on a faulty autocue, yeah a likely story! Anyway here is Ronnie Capturing the moment that saw Sharon hurl her abuse at poor old Vic, and Ozzy doing something very strange indeed!

So good old Ronnie managed to find another monumental Brits balls up to bring to life in his own style yet again. More from my showbiz chum Ronnie next week. So now I'm sure that you are ready for your mid read break now, and as always I have found a great little game for you to play, and this week it has a very special Captain Jack Twist..............

Captain Jacks Five Minute Scive

Captain Jacks Pirate Adventure

After the fun of your little game break, its time to get on with this weeks Hot Chick, and this week we will be having out first full frontal nude shot…..hold on tight boys!!!!

So this weeks Hot Chick is star of Ugly Betty, no not the dog with the glasses the fit one who used to be a bloke- only in the show guys, she’s all woman in real life honest! Oh her name….its Rebecca Romijn. She was born in1972, therefore making her the oldest Hot Chick so far. She was born in Berkeley in California to an Eglish mother, and a Dutch father, who hailed from the area in Netherlands named after the famous Darts player Raymond Van Barneveld, giving Rebecca her lifelong love of darts.

Her first career move was as a model, and in her younger days she often could be seen in tight little bikini’s and swimsuits in the highly popular Sports Illustrated magazine, noted for its pictures of hot half naked women. She also gained credit for her extremely hard work in modelling for Victoria’s Secret, the world famous lingerie, whose pictures are often used as late night entertainment to internet viewers around the world.
But her longing to become an actress took Rebecca to take a dip in the acting pond, firstly in a few episodes of short lived US series Friends, and also the MTV supermodel show, House Of Style. This led her to star in some minor films, such as a bearded lady in the 1998 film Dirty Work, and Austin Powers The Spy Who Shagged Me as herself in 1999. This led to her first major role as Mystique in the blockbuster X-Men. For this role Rebecca had to appear nude for much of her screen time, as you can see below. Be warned this is full frontal nudity and those easily offended should just skip this next picture.

She appeared twice more as Mystique in the subsequent X-Men films, and then took the starring role in Brian De Palma’s 2002 Femme Fatale, followed by roles in The Punisher, Godsend and The Alibi, which she starred alongside Steve Coogan, you know that guy who thinks he’s funny when he plays that irritating Alan Partridge git. But her biggest break was to play in Ugly Betty as Alexis Meade, who just so happened to be once a man, now lets face it, when have sex change ops ever made a bloke look this Hot. During a break from filming the Ugly Betty shows, Rebecca managed to pose nude yet again, this time with Dennis Rodman for a magazine cover, the dirty girl.

Rebecca was once married to John Stamos, who plays Tony in ER, but they divorced in March 2005. In September 2005 she then remarried herself to Jerry O’Connell, star of Sliders, who also guest starred on Ugly Betty….Hmm wonder where they met.

We know you do ladies, and who can blame you, all looking so lovely up their with your wings and very sexy underware, anyway I digress a little. So now lets get on with this weeks music section for you to read and enjoy. Now as its Brits Week, there is a slight Brits feel to the blog this week, coming soon is the Brits report, with all the winner and runners and riders, but first up is this weeks Live Is Best

Captain Jack Does It Best Live

Take That - Shine

O2 Arena London 2007

Now in no way could that be anyway Brits related could it? You'll just have to read thie years winner to find out how that song and that band made it to the Live Is Best section this week, for those of you easily offended by no Rock this week, do not fear Slipknot will be on next week!
So if that wet your appetite, then hold up for some more mouth watering karaoke tracks for you to get your ears around this week. As it appeared that everyone who was loved up last week had deserted us, it meant I managed to get four song’s in this week. So this weeks tracks were as follows. 1. Just Take My Heart by Mr Big, 2. Rule The World by Take That, 3. Carrie by Europe and finally 4. Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf. So lets get on with the songs then.

Just Take My Heart by Mr Big

Highest UK Chart Position: 26 May 1992

Just Take My Heart was the third single of the bands second album Lean Into It. This was a real rock ballad, and in the states was a huge success following the bands worldwide hit with To Be With You. Mr. Big combined two popular musical trends of the rock scene in the 1980s, focusing on melodies and listener-friendly choruses, and impressive technical proficiency, then called shredding. The seeds for the group were sown when bass player Billy Sheehan, who was also bass guitarist for guitarist Stevie Vai, left Dave Lee Roth's solo band in 1988. Almost immediately after his exit, Sheehan began piecing together a new outfit, with the help of Mike Varney from Shrapnel Records, a label specialized in the shredding genre.
However, what Sheehan did not know was that he was about to form one of the most revered supergroups to come out of America. The band, now managed by former Journey and Santana manager Herbie Herbert composed of Shrapnel artist and former Racer X guitarist Paul Gilbert, Pat Torpey on drums, and singer Eric Martin whose high voice on To Be With You, and facial appearance led many people to think he was a woman, who had a number of album releases throughout the 1980s with his Eric Martin Band.
By 1989, the newly formed quartet had already inked a recording contract with Atlantic, resulting in the release of a self-titled debut the same year. Despite causing a buzz amongst musicians, the album failed to crossover to a mainstream rock audience stateside however, Mr. Big was an immediate smash success overseas in Japan. The band's breakthrough came with their second album, Lean Into It, in 1991. It featured two ballads that established the band as a commercial success with To Be With You and Just Take My Heart, as well as rock songs that remained as staples of their live set for years to come, such as Green Tinted Sixties Mind.
Other releases followed, Bump Ahead in 1993 and Hey Man in 1996, but the band never replicated its earlier success in the US market. In Japan, on the other hand, they continued to sell out tours, resulting in a number of live releases for the Japanese market throughout their career.
Paul Gilbert left the band in 1997 to pursue a solo career and eventually reform Racer X. Richie Kotzen, another Shrapnel artist and former guitarist for Poison, was brought in to take on guitar duties, also contributing occasional vocals. Two studio albums were released by this lineup with Get Over It in 2000 and Actual Size in 2001, which featured the single Shine, used as the ending theme in the animation series of Hellsing. Tensions in the band led to their demise when contractual obligations for yet another Japanese tour were fulfilled in the form of a farewell tour, without the band being told this before it was announced. The multi-million record-selling band broke up in 2002, many years since their last US hit, but while still enjoying great popularity in Japan. All of the former members have gone on to other projects in the music industry.

Rule The World by Take That

Highest UK Chart Position: No 2 November 2007

Take That, quite a week for the comeback kids this week. Two awards at the Brits, Best Single and Best Live Act, a starring role in this weeks blog, and to round off their fabulously lucky week, I managed to fit them in on my set list as well. Rule the world was released in October 2007 and was taken from the soundtrack to the 2007 film Stardust, which starred Robert De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer amongst others. It was the bands 22nd UK release, their 16th Top Ten Hit, and it hold the dubious honour of being the highest selling number two single in history, even outselling the song that kept it off the top spot in sales Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, as it was in the charts for longer.
The song was featured during the closing credits of the film, and director Matthew Vaughn said it encapsulated the feel of the film perfectly. He approached Gary Barlow to see if he would be interested in Take That releasing a song for the film. Barlow said that as the band all lived near each other they would get together and discuss if they would do it on the day he asked him. By six on the same day the song had been composed and written.
The video features the band singing in separate booths at the world famous Abbey Road studios, and also shows various sound technicians and band members playing the song, with clips of the film throughout the video. It made it’s premier on ITV 1 on 22nd September 2007.

Carrie by Europe

Highest UK Chart Position: No 22 April 1987

Next up is a song by a band that almost wrote the book on Monster Rock Ballads in the 80’s Europe. Joey Tempest and his Swedish cohorts were huge after their mega hit The Final Countdown, but this track showed they had a knack for the rock ballads to rival their big haired American counterparts. They had received little success out of their native Sweden up until 1985, but in 1986 that was about to change. They began the recording of their next album with Journey producer Kevin Elson. The result was The Final Countdown. Released in May 1986, it became a worldwide hit and established Europe as one of the biggest rock bands in the world. The title track, which was released as the first single, sold about eight million copies and was number 1 in 26 countries.
Other hits included the power ballad Cherokee, Rock the Night and of course Carrie. Not satisfied with the album's keyboard dominated production nor the band's commercialized image, John Norum decided to leave Europe in November 1986 to pursue a solo career. Kee Marcello was asked to replace him, and after some consideration decided to join the band. The following year included successful tours through Europe and the USA. The follow-up to The Final Countdown was entitled Out Of This World and was released in 1988. The biggest hits from the album were Superstitious and a new version of Open Your Heart. The album sold about three million copies, which was considered a fiasco compared to previous sales figures. More touring followed, including an American tour with Def Leppard, and a Monsters Of Rock festival gig at the National Bowl in Milton Keynes with Bon Jovi, Skid Row and Vixen.
Europe decided to take a long break when the tour ended in 1992. Since then, Joey Tempest and Kee Marcello have released solo albums, while the other members have participated in several different projects and bands. For the millennium celebrations, Europe was asked to do a concert in Stockholm on New Year's Eve. This was not a full-time reunion, however; just a one-off event, however in 2003 they announce the original line up was to reform and record together again. They since have released a number of albums which have never returned them to their former heights, but in 2008 several festival appearances are expected, and another new album is to be released towards the end of the year.

Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

No UK Chart Release

A surprising fact is that this track never made it to the UK Charts, probably due to the fact it goes on and on and on, but its taken from one of the biggest selling rock albums ever Bat Out Of Hell. For regular readers, you will of course know I sang this track with my partner in crime Leanne towards the end of 2007, so instead of focusing on the song, this time I will bring you a report on the album, as that’s far better than this track anyway!
Bat Out Of Hell was released in 1978, and went on to spend a whopping 280 weeks on the UK album charts, finally going off the chart in October 1983, when it was reported that ever home in the country owned a copy of it! The album developed from a musical, Neverland, a sci-fi update of Peter Pan, which Jim Steinman wrote for a workshop performed at the Kennedy Center in 1977. Steinman and Meat Loaf, who were touring with the National Lampoon show, felt that three songs were exceptional and Steinman began to develop them as part of a seven-song set they wanted to record as an album. The three songs were Bat out of Hell, Heaven Can Wait and The Formation of the Pack, which was retitled All Revved Up With No Place to Go. Steinman and Meat Loaf had immense difficulty finding a record company willing to sign them, as they were both actors and were not being taken seriously. According to Meat Loaf's autobiography, the band spent most of 1975, and two and a half years, auditioning the record and being rejected. The final recording of the album has the seven tracks Steinman and Meat Loaf wanted, and when listened to in full, the album is a whole story in itself. It begins with Bat Out Of Hell, musically known as the most extreme car crash song ever. Then comes You Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth, a classic rock ballad. Then comes another beautiful ballad with the haunting Heaven Can Wait, and finally on side a of the album, it’s the rocking All Revved Up. Side b opens up with another ballad Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad, then comes Paradise, known as the ultimate sex in a car song. The album ends with another operatic style ballad with For Crying Out Loud. Seven songs that tell a story, with three of them over 8 minutes in length, and the others all well over 5 minutes, this was a long album to get your head around, but each track could be construed as a classic in its own way, and no one can deny that as an album, to spend almost seven years in the chart, it must be quite good at least!

Four classics there for you to enjoy, and I hope you will be back next week for more. So now then here we have the most prestigeous, sorry over hyped music awards for the music industry to go out and get absolutely wasted, how Ronnie managed to only catch one Bull Plop picture I'll never know. But the Brits is a big event and here is my very special Brits report......

This years Brits proved to be as predictable as they always are. Most of the awards went to the right people this year, for a change, but yet again the British music industry bosses go out of their way to ignore the correct choices for the popular but pointless choices, I’ll get onto that later. But at least they managed to pick host that would take no crap and speak their minds if it was to all go pear shaped on the night, with Prince Of Darkness Ozzy Osbourne and Super Sexy Sharon Osbourne hosting the show, lets face it lads we would wouldn’t we!

So onto the awards. Top honour went to Sir Paul McCartney, who was given this years outstanding achievement to music award. After his recent run of luck, Macca deserved the award, and played a rip roaring set on the night including Live And Let Die and Hey Jude. Apart from that here is the run down on the other winners on the night, and of course Captain Jacks own opinions.

Best British Group:Arctic Monkeys

Well it was between these guys, Kaiser Chiefs, Take That, The Editors (Why) and Girls Aloud (You see they have a sense of humour at Brits HQ), so no surprise it was really between Take That and Arctic Monkeys. With the year they have had I was surprised at Take That not getting it, but the Arctic Monkeys are worth the award, even if it was only to see them poke fun at the very people who voted for them!

Best British Single: Take That - Shine

A surefire winner when you see what it was up against, Mika/Grace Kelly (Joking), Hoosiers/Worried About Ray (Joking), Mark Ronson and Amy Winehouse/Valerie (Joking) and Leona Lewis/Bleeding Love (Strong contender).

British Male: Mark Ronson

Again really the only choice as he was up against Mika (Seriously Best British Male), Jamie T(Who), Newton Faulkner (Gypo) and Richard Hawley (Who), all of which were much better than oh I don’t know James Blunt, Robbie Williams, who were not nominated, go figure.

British Female: Kate Nash

Another safe bet as she was up against some none entities in the line up of nominees. Leona Lewis (Should of won), PJ Harvey (released what this year) Bat For Lashes (Who) and KT Tunstall.

Best British Album: Arctic Monkeys

Won second award for Favourite Worst Nightmare, and deserved it, although it was a tough one to win with great albums from Mark Ronson, Take That and Leona Lewis up against it.

Best International Band: Foo Fighters

Well no arguments here from me, well deserved and long overdue, no competition really as only up against The White Stripes, The Eagles, Kings Of Leon and Arcade Fire.

Best International Male: Kanye West

Could have been worse as he was up against the likes of Brucie (Springsteen not Forsythe) Michael Buble, Rufus Wainwright, and his main competition Timberland.

Best International Female: Kylie Minogue

Again no surprise here when you look at the competition. Rhianna for her 8 months stint at the top of the charts with Umberella, Alicia Keys (again), Bjork (again) and Feist (who?)

Best International Album: Foo Fighters

Second award for the Foo Foo’s with Echoes, Silence, Patience and Grace scooping this award. Best of the shortlist beating The Eagles. Kylie, Kings Of Leon and Arcade Fire.

Best Breakthrough Artist: Mika

What! Ok so he has had a good year, but any bloke that is obviously deranged singing about Grace Kelly and Fat bird being beautiful does not warrant an award of any kind. Rightful winner Leona Lewis must have been gutted, as should have been The Klaxons and Kate Nash, who equally deserved it more than Mika, and Bat For Lashes, who I have no idea who they are probably deserved it more too.

Critics Choice: Adele

With being a fat bird this award was probably picked by Mika!

Best Live Act: Take That

Take That had a sell out tour and with their dazzling live performances, this was rightfully their second award of the night, although they faced stiff competition from Arctic Monkeys, Muse, Kaiser Chiefs and The Klaxons.

Outstanding Contribution Award: Paul McCartney

Well what can you say about Macca. An award that was well deserved, and a cracking live set to end the show with, and show why he deserved the award so much.

So some good some bad and all in all, it proves that the Brit School acts will all stick together, but the bad boys will still take the mick if they get the chance in their acceptance speaches, see Arctic Monkeys and Foo Fighters to see what I mean!

Now as I promised earlier I have for you all to enjoy, a very special treat. As you know I am a huge Rolling Stones fan, and with Ronnie Wood sending in his celebrity portraits on a weekly basis, it's only fair that I bring to you this years very special Rolling Stones event. Shine a Light is directed by Martin Scorsese and chronicles two 2006 performances from The Rolling Stones A Bigger Bang tour. It also includes archive footage from the band's career. The film takes its title from the song of the same name, featured on the band's 1972 album Exile on Main St. Scorsese filmed the Rolling Stones for two nights at New York City's Beacon Theater on October 29 and November 1, 2006. Footage from the shows is intercut with backstage footage, historical clips and contemporary interviews with the band.

Shine a Light is actually more of a live concert than a documentary, and 99% of the footage was shot live at New York's Beacon theater, during a 3 day performance to celebrate Bill Clinton's 60th birthday during the Rolling Stones Bigger Bang tour in 2006. When Scorsese first approached the band about filming a live show, Mick Jagger had recommended filming one of their concerts in Brazil. However, Scorsese opted for the more intimate surroundings of the Beacon theater, and indeed the film achieves a level of intimacy you wouldn't get even with the very best front row seats.

Mick, Keith, Ron and Charlie have aged a lot and I couldn't get over the fact that they were prancing around up on stage instead sitting at home in a rocking chair. Let's face it, all of the Stones are in their 60's now, and a life of hedonism hasn't exactly kept them well preserved. One of the problems with modern cinematography and close ups is that it reveals a little too much of the facial details, and these guys have a bit too much detail in their wrinkles. Mick in particular, age 63 at the time of filming, is looking pretty weathered and the rest of the band isn't looking too youthful either. Yet despite their leathery looks, Mick still has a body that would make many 20 year olds jealous. Scorsese fits in some nice footage of a baby-faced Jagger from the 60's which only helps to intensify the contrast between the oddly handsome, youthful Jagger that we all remember and today’s image which is far more grandfatherly and less "sexy". Unfortunately, show business is all about appearance and growing old doesn't fit into the picture so well. But their appearance only makes them more human, reminding us that even the beautiful, the rich and the famous can't escape aging. This is ultimately humanizing and brings the band down to earth; they come off as nice old blokes you'd have a beer with at a pub rather than inaccessible musical gods. So while the band hasn't been treated too well by the tides of time, the initial visual shock wears off after only a few songs. These guys can still put on a concert and Jagger can still prance on stage better than many teenager bands.

Musically the Rolling Stones are one of those bands that seem to be much more than the sum of their parts. None of the members are really outstanding musicians. Even Keith Richards confesses in the movie that neither he nor Ron Wood are great guitarists, yet together, he claims, they sound better than 10 guitarists. Thankfully they all sound great during the movie and manage to remind us over and over that this band has created some of the most memorable music of the past 40 years. That sums it up, these guys have tremendous charisma and chemistry on stage. They are certainly talented musically as well, but it's the combination of the parts and their unique personalities that makes them so special. Their funky chemistry and jovial approach to music and growing old really makes them endearing. No wonder they are one of the longest running and most successful music acts in the business. On top of it they are just plain fun guys that rub you the right way.

In the end, despite the band members geriatric appearance, Shine a Light emerges as an incredibly intimate portrayal of an amazing group of likeable characters giving an amazing musical performance. There's nothing geriatric about the way they rock. Whatever you think of their music, you simply become enamored with these loveable old guys who seem to be enjoying themselves so much on stage. You walk away feeling as if you were the Stones personal guest at the show and spent the last 2 hours watching it from the best seat in the house. The movie makes you feel like you have the ability to transport yourself at will to whatever part of the stage you want to get the best view of the action. The archival footage that Scorsese intersperses throughout is humorous and well chosen, giving a much better understanding of the context of the Stones performing so late in life, and their development from then until now. The sound is top notch and probably better than attending a live concert. Note that it is very loud too! So just to get your tastebuds a little wetter, here is the official trailer of the film, so please please please take a look at the clip, and for once this is a very genuine Captain Jack Recommends, go see it.

And now here is a new little feature that will slip in from time to time folks. Now as was the case last week, no Fifa was played online, and just so you don't get too much of an overdose of sexy half naked women, your very own Captain Jack has yet again found you a brand new feature to enjoy, to fill in on the weeks that no Fifa gets played. So then, what have I come up with for you, well its brand new and completely genuine. Here for the first time on UK blog screens is Captain Jacks brand new feature.............

Captain Jacks Films That Should Be Made

So there we go folks. A fun filled week again for you to enjoy. Thanks must go out to all the contributers for this weeks blog again. By that I mean Ronnie for his picture, Vic Reeves for getting pissed, Ms Romijn for being hot, and thank god Borat kept away this week! So next week should be quieter, but as you all know in Captain Jacks world, no week is ever quiet. Thank you all for reading, and come back next week for much more Captain Jack fun filled antics.......

" My name is Maximus Decimus Meridius. Commander of the Armies of the North. General of the Felix Legions. Loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Aurelius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife…and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next. "