Thursday November 1st 2007

Well this blog thing seems to come around quicker and quicker every week. So much to say and so little time to say it in, in fact I may be forced to stop pillaging and other such pirate like tasks to start doing this thing full time! So without further distraction, last week I promised a damn good blog this week, and a damn good blog you are going to get, like it or not.
So as I mentioned last week, myself and the other half Hayley were both off work to allow us to have a week of rest and relaxation, and for me to hone in my skills at playing Fifa 08 on the old PS3, not that I had that much time to do that, with out customary visit to Ikea to buy some weird and wonderful Swedish goodies. So over the week's build up to the promised very drunken Karaoke rampage on Thursday, we managed to decorate part of the house, and still find time to get in several hours of well thought out web surfing to bring you some very funny moments. First up is a little cracker. I know you all love the Cadburys advert with the Phil Collins look alike playing drums, and of course in any of these adverts, the old remixed versions come out, so for the first in the mini series of 'Gorilla playing drums', here is our hairy friend giving the X-Factor judges what for in his audition.....



Not that this blog has become over X-Factored in the last couple of weeks, that is just a bloody funny clip I'm sure you will all agree! So a few weeks ago, or is it months now, I found a great wedding video from an American couple who, like myself for my wedding, put on a show to make the special day unforgettable. Now this must of been one hell of a party so sit back relax and enjoy......



See to everyone out there who thought my little Darkness tribute was strange, then boo to you, this one was a lot stranger, and they didn't even dress up for it! Strangely though looking back on it The Darkness split up just after our wedding and our little tribute, and just after this wedding and video was shot Micheal Jackson was accused of child abuse! Hmm maybe there is a pattern forming here.
So on to this weeks list. With having several days off work to recuperate I got me to thinking of how to make life at work more interesting. We can all suffer from being stuck in a mundane job, just drifting in from day to day, just wishing for a little spark to make the day more interesting. But unfortunately we are not allowed to take beer into work, so here are the top 20 reasons why beer should be given to staff at work.

1. Its an incentive to show up.
2. It reduces stress.
3. It cuts down time off because you can work with a hangover.
4. It reduces complaints about low pay.
5. It encourages carpooling.
6. It helps save on heating costs in winter.
7. Employers will tell the management what they think, not what they want to hear.
8. Increased job satisfaction, because if your drunk you don't care.
9. It makes fellow employees look better.
10. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises if they are wasted.
11. Suddenly, burping in meetings is less embarrassing.
12. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable3
13. The cleaners cupboard will finally have a use.
14. It make everyone more open with their ideas.
15. Employees will work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.
16. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch breaks.
17. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.
18. Everyone agrees to work better after a couple of drinks.
19. Sitting on the photo copier and copying your bum will no longer be gross
20. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will become common language.

You see now toke some of those ideas into work and I'm sure the days will become a lot more interesting for all concerned. Now as last week I gave a little Halloween twist to the blog, with it being Bonfire Night on 5th November I couldn't let this week blog go buy without a little firework display of our could could I! Of course not, and so without further ado, here is the first annual Captain Jacks Haunted Mansion Firework display.... Stand well back and enjoy the fireworks, and always remember never give sparklers to kids under five and always put them out in a bucket of water, or just chuck them over next doors yard....



So with all that over and done with lets back back on track with this weeks very busy X-Factor report.

This week the show hit the headline for all the wrong reasons with one of the contestants being booted off the show by the producers. What never fails to surprise me is that after years of being caught out by contestants in reality T.V. shows for apparently not researching their past, and yet again they have been caught out by the youngest ever contestant on the show. Fifteen year old Emily Nakanda hit the headlines when this news story broke last week.


So with that story coming out the producers had no option than to call a meeting with Emily and her parents, and after that they confirmed Emily would be out of the show.

In the video shown on the news report she is shown attacking another girl for no apparent reason, but another video of her apparently brandishing a knife and threatening to cut somebody's eyes out also being circulated via the web, the producers had no alternative than to axe her from the show. Although it looks very staged in the video, and since the news report the second knife wielding video has bee proved to of been staged for the camera, the ITV bosses and Simon Cowell were quite right to boot the 15 year old off the show. So the so called Happy Slapper has made the headlines for all the wrong reasons, and left poor old Mrs O with only one act left in the show. Sharon Osbourne was obviously gutted by the story and in her official statement said she was ' deeply saddened by the whole incident '

So back onto this weeks show. This week was the week a lot of the contestants look forward to as it was Big Band week and they got to perform live on stage with a 27 piece orchestra in front of the watching millions at home. Of course yet again this style will favour some contestants over others, but for some it will be the chance to shine.

1. Leon - Fly Me To The Moon - First up on tonight's show is Leon. In his VT before his performance he commented on how the judges, mainly Simon, had not commented on his singing but on his lack of confidence, so with Big Band week being one of his stronger weeks he had a point to prove. It was by far and a way his best performance of the series, and from this he should gain lots of much needed confidence. The judges all liked it as well. Louis said he had his best week and a great voice, Sharon called him a dark horse for the competition, Simon said it was very good an his best so far and of course Danni was thrilled at her acts much more confident performance. Should be safe this week.

2. Futureproof - Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Next up the boy band. This week should be a breeze for them, but the performance was a little forced, and the promised dance routines from the VT were nothing more than a few swaying arms. Not their best performance, and the judges all seemed a little let down. Louis commented on the lack of dancing, Sharon said they looked and sounded OK but were a little stiff, Danni didn't like the song but mentor Simon said they had done a respectable performance. Not good enough if they want to win the show.

3. Niki - All That Jazz - One of the early favourites next, and after two brilliant weeks Niki yet again proved she has got an amazing voice with this performance tonight. She yet again owned the stage and even managed a very sexy routine complete with a trombone player playing in between her legs. The judges however had a more mixed reaction. Sharon said it was a big gamble which had paid off, Danni though it was a well sung effort, Simon said it was her worst performance and it was too cabaret for him, but Louis of course said his act had risen to the challenge and pulled it off brilliantly.

4. Rhdyian - Get The Party Started - Next up the biggest Diva on the show with the Shirley Bassey version of the Pink song. Complete with silver sequined suit and fur coat The Riddler as Dermot has nicknamed him came out with yet another over the top performance that only he could of pulled off. Louis thought it was a bit over the top, Sharon was left speechless by it all, Simon loved it and said it was probably the best performance he had ever seen on the show, and of course Danni said he was great predictably. Should yet again get through this week.

5. Same Difference - Reach - Now how an S Club 7 song can be classed as Big Band is anyone's guess, but as these two only seem to be able to do cheesy then I guess it could only be done by them. The performance was predictable and as usual very cheesy with OTT smiles from them both, and glitter sprinkles being thrown over the stage for some unknown reason. Not brilliant. Louis who hates this act said it was far too panto like, Sharon liked it and said they had worked hard, Danni said they were getting better and mentor Simon said it a terrific performance and gave the show the feel good factor. May struggle this week.

6.Alisha - Valerie - After spending the last two weeks in the bottom two Alisha had to come out fighting this week and she did with the Mark Ronson/Amy Whitehouse version of the Zutons track Valerie. It was, in my opinion, a bit rushed and she did fluff her lines a little on the second verse, but not too noticeably. Having said that the more modern song suited Alisha and it was her best week so far. Louis said it was her best week so far, Danni said she had pushed herself to give her best performance so far, Simon agreed it was her best week and Sharon said it was her and Alisha all the way now and it was a fabulous performance. Will be safe this week no problem.

7. Hope - Hanky Panky - As the song title promised this was bound to be an OTT performance and a sexy routine by the girls, and it was, complete with Simon being given a special hands on treat by way of a five way lap dance. Although the routine was good this was their weakest performance so far, and possibly the wrong song choice by Simon. It promised to be a lot better than it was, and that was reflected in the judges comments. Louis didn't like it and said it let them down, Sharon said it wasn't the best song choice, Danni said they looked great but had their worst weak, and Simon said they had put on a great show and looked and acted like stars. Could do a lot better but should be safe.

8. Andy - This Guy's In Love With You - The Herb Albert classic was given the Big Band treatment by the band but not the singer in this very dull and lifeless performance. It was again not a brilliant vocal, with Andy appearing to be staying at the same level and not improving as some of the others have. The judges all thought it was a weak showing as well. Louis didn't like the song or the performance, Sharon said it was a very weak vocal, Simon said he didn't see Andy as a recording artist but Danni stood by her act and said he had done well. May be in the bottom two this week as this was not good enough.

9. Beverley - Feelin' Good - What a great way to end the show with this Big Band classic. A very slick and vocally perfect performance by Beverley. This could of been a mistake but she pulled it off and looked and sounded great. Best performance of the night and she looked more confident this week. Sharon said she had owned the stage, Danni said it was a great song choice, Simon said it was incredible and she had been for the first time better than Niki on the live shows and mentor Louis said it was by far the best performance of the night. Will fly through this week.

So yet again the bottom two provided a shock for everyone especially one of the judges. As the names were read out for who would be back next week the predictably acts that had been great this week such as Alisha, Leon, Niki and Beverley went through it looked more and more like one judge would have two in the bottom two, and they did with Futureproof and Hope ending up in the bottom two. Simon said it had been the wrong choice but told his acts to come out and fight for they place on next weeks show. First up was Futureproof and second up was Hope.

Futureproof took to the stage for the second time looking resound to the fact they were going home as they were up against one of the shows early favourites. The performance was a lot more shaky this time round, and they looked as if they were on their way home. Hope were obviously shocked to be the bottom two and came out fighting with a sexier and gutsy performance second time round. So after the performances the judges had to vote for who they were sending home. Louis called Futureproofs performance sloppy and voted for them, Sharon loves Hope so voted for Futureproof, Danni I suspect to throw the onus onto Simon to make the final decision voted off Hope and Simon having to vote off one of his acts plumped for Futureproof, meaning Hope were safe for another week.

So as the battle of the bands ended with Futureproof getting the boot here is Captain Jacks farewell report on the band.

So the first of the bands to face the chop is Futureproof. The five guys all originally auditioned as solo artists and got through to boot camp, but were all told they were not going any further as solo artists, but as the groups category was so weak this year, Louis suggested putting a boy and girl band together from the solo acts that just missed the cut, hense Futureproof and Hope were born, and both went on to make it to the live shows.

The band is made up of Matthew who is 17 from London, Sean who is 20 and from Warwick, Richard who is 23 from Leeds, Adam who is 21 from Maidstone and Aaron who is 19 and from London. Four of the lads, Matthew, Sean, Adam and Aaron, have all been either to stage school or in bands, only Richard has not been involved before in the business. Sean has also been in boot-camp before in 2006 when he was part of a duo that didn't get through. The lads had an excellent first two weeks and looked as if they may progress further, but this weeks poor performance let hem down and off they go, but its not all doom and gloom for the lads, they have promised this is only the start for Futureproof and an album is to follow...whoopee doo! Goodbye Futureproof and good luck!

So there we have it. Bit of a shock this week with the Happy Slapper incident and the fit girl band almost being knocked out of the show, but you can't always predict how this show will go, and I'm beginning to worry that the Riddler may end up going all the way and annoying us for years to come. Ah well there's hop for us all if that berk has made it to our screens. So on then to tonight's karaoke feast of fun, with an added busman's holiday for me and Shaunio as the night continued on and we wowed the crowds at a second venue. So tonight's songs were firstly at The Hotel 1. Band On The Run by Wings 2. Roll Away The Stone by Mott The Hoople 3. Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC and 4. Tiny Dancer by Elton John and then at our second venue Base in Hanley, which has karaoke on until 2am in the morning on Thursdays we finished off with 5. Dare by Gorillaz.

Band On The Run by Wings link to video

Now this is a real classic to start off with tonight, but the usual crowd, Shaun, Tina, Hayley and Louise all didn't get what the song was until the Band On The Run line in the chorus. Even Andy was surprised none of them got it, and to make it worse Hayley has been listening to the brilliant Foo Fighters version on the Radio One 40th Birthday album for weeks now and loves the track. Must be the new Journey South album (Available in all good shops and some bad ones too!) damaging her eardrums! So onto this song then. This was the title song from Paul McCartney and Wings' acclaimed Band on the Run album, one of McCartney's most ambitious and best-loved songs. It is comprised of a three-part structure that revolves around the themes of escape and liberation. The song features prominently on every McCartney/Wings best-of compilation and in McCartney's live shows. The song was considered the best evidence that McCartney's songwriting skills had not deserted him after The Beatles.

Wings were formed in 1970 following the break up of the Beatles and featured McCartney's wife Linda as a band member as McCartney had insisted from the beginning of their marriage that his wife should be involved in his musical projects, so that they did not have to be apart when he was on tour. Although the band only lasted for ten years the released 12 albums and had 23 single releases most of which reached the UK and US Top Ten, and included such well known hits as Live And Let Die, Jet, Silly Love Songs, Mull Of Kintyre, With A Little Luck and of course who could forget The Frog Chorus! On the night rating 7/10

Roll Away The Stone by Mott The Hoople link to video

Another seventies classic that I have dug up for my next track. Mott the Hoople were a 1970s glam rock band with strong R&B roots. They are best known for the song ' All the Young Dudes ', which was written for them by their fan David Bowie and which appeared on the 1972 album of the same name. In 1968, Mick Ralphs, Verden Allen, Pete "Overend" Watts and Dale "Buffin" Griffin formed a band called Silence. Adding then lead singer Stan Tippens in 1969, the band recorded early tracks at Rockfield Studios in Monmouth. Stan was injured soon after joining the band and was unable to continue singing, but the band rallied and eventually signed with Island Records, moving to London to record with Guy Stevens as producer.
Stevens changed the band's name to ' Mott the Hoople ' from a novel of the same name by Willard Manus. The book is about an eccentric who works in a circus freak show. The band also recruited a new singer and piano player, Ian Hunter. Hunter had replied to a music magazine advertisement which read "Singer wanted, must be image-minded and hungry." Tippens became the road manager for the band. Their debut album, Mott the Hoople (1969), was a cult success, and their repertoire included memorable cover versions of ' Laugh at Me ' by Sonny Bono, and an instrumental version of ' You Really Got Me ' by The Kinks.

During the glam rock seventies the band who had been close to splitting up were persuaded to stay together by fan David Bowie, who offered them Sufragette City from his then unreleased Ziggy Stardust album. But the band refused the track and Bowie wrote them All The Young Dudes which they released in 1972 on the Bowie produced album of the same name. Although they had huge success with the single the band eventually broke up in 1974 never to record together again.

This single was released in 1973 and reached number 8 in the charts and is it reported that Brian May from Queen rates this as one of the guitar riffs that influenced many of the hard rock Queen tracks he wrote for the band. Yet again it was only myself and Andy (It must be our age!) that knew this song, and although it was not well know by our little band of merry men and women I think the pub as a whole were suitably impressed. on the night rating 8/10

Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap by AC/DC link to video

A late entry for tonight as I only practiced it about an hour before I went to the pub, but a classic rock track by one of the worlds greatest and most loved hard rock bands, and this is a great chance to write about one of the bands that influenced my taste in music as well. The band were formed in Sydney in 1973 by brothers Angus and Malcolm Young. The band are considered pioneers of heavy metal, alongside bands such as Led Zeppelin, Deep Purple and Black Sabbath, although the band has always classified their music as rock and roll. During their career spanning nearly 35 years the band has has countless hits and has headlined more hard rock festivals, including Donnington three times.

In 1980 original lead vocalist Bon Scott died in London after a heavy night drinking. The official report said he died from alchoholic poisoning, but it was rumoured that it may of been a heroin overdose that killed him. The band almost quit after Scott's death, but the Young brothers were determined to go on and replaced Bon Scott with geordie Brian Johnson, whose rasping vocals have taken the band on to a hugely successful period throughout the 80's and early 90's.

This track was released 1976, and was written by Angus Young, Malcolm Young and Bon Scott.
This is one of AC/DC's best known songs. It features a unique backing vocal consisting of a heavy breathing sound, made on the downbeat during verses. It is also the only AC/DC song to feature a line sung solely by Malcolm Young, who sings the title at the end of the chorus. In the song, an unnamed person invites people with problems to either call him at 362-436 or visit him at his home, and he will perform assorted unsavoury acts to resolve all manner of problems. Situations in which he offers assistance include those involving lewd high school principals and wives or girlfriends who cheat or nag. As detailed by the song the dirty deeds provided at low cost include such delights as Concrete shoes, Cyanide, T.N.T. and High Voltage.
Two of the services offered share names with AC/DC's first two albums, T.N.T. and High Voltage. Additionally, the six digits of the telephone number provided by the lyrics are the idealized perfect measurements of a woman (36"-24"-36"). The term ' Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap ' is an homage to the cartoon Beany and Cecil, which Angus Young watched when he was a child. One of the cartoon's characters was named Dishonest John, and carried a business card that read, "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. Holidays, Sundays and Special Rates." Yet again I managed to sing another song that nobody had ever heard of before in the pub, but it will not deter me from advancing the musical knowledge of the listeners. And on the note of advancing the knowledge of you all on these great bands, I think it is time I announced the birth of my new upcoming blog coming to a computer screen near you entitled ' What The Hell Was That - The Greatest Bands In The World Ever ' It will bring you a biography of my favourite bands like AC/DC and a reference point to anyone ho wants to learn more about great bands. Watch this space soon. On the night rating 7/10

Tiny Dancer by Elton John link to video

Ok Ok I know I love a lot of strange music and I know not everyone knows every track by every artist like I appear to do, but I was astonished when nobody had heard this classic by Elton John. Tiny Dancer is a 1971 released song by Elton with lyrics by his long term colaberator Bernie Taupin, which appears on Elton's fifth album, Madman Across the Water. The song features a piano-based melody during verses, typically inscrutable Taupin lyrics during the chorus, and an arrangement that at the start features pedal steel guitar and light percussion but, transitioning subtly halfway through one of the choruses, by the end is driven by Paul Buckmaster's dynamic strings, along with a barely heard backing choir. Clocking at 6:13, it was one of the longer radio singles of that period.
The song was written about Maxine Feibelman, a dancer on Elton John's tour who later married Taupin at his church called Holy Rood Catholic Church. Later, the song from the Elton John album Blue Moves called ' Between Seventeen and Twenty ' referred to the divorce of Bernie and Maxine Taupin and the fact that so much had changed from when they first met when he was age twenty and she was age seventeen. A non-starter as a single at the time, reaching only number 41 in the U.S. and not charting at all in the UK, Tiny Dancer did not fade away, but instead slowly became one of Elton John's most popular songs. A fixture on radio stations, but played by rock stations as well, the song simply grew in popularity.

The song received an additional boost in popularity in 2000 after appearing in a memorable scene in the Cameron Crowe film Almost Famous, where it is played over the sound system of a tour bus and no one can resist the urge to sing along to the chorus. Elton John has attested to the film's popularization of the song, saying in 2004, ' I hadn't played it much until Cameron Crowe put it in Almost Famous. Now we get more requests for it than anything else.' The song was also reconned to be one of Princess Diana's favourite Elton John Tracks. on the night rating 8/10

And so onto our guest appearence at a rival karaoke!

Dare by Gorillaz link to video

Gorillaz is a virtual band created in 1998 by Damon Albarn of Blur, and Jamie Hewlett, co-creator of the comic book Tank Girl. The band is composed of four animated band members: 2D, Murdoc, Noodle and Russel. The band's music is a collaboration between various musicians with Albarn being the only permanent member. Their style is broadly alternative rock, but with a large number of other influences including hip hop, electronica, dub and pop. The band's first album, 2001's Gorillaz, sold over 7 million copies and earned them an entry in the Guinness Book of Records as the Most Successful Virtual Band. It was nominated for the Mercury Prize 2001, but the nomination was later withdrawn at the band's request. Their second studio album, Demon Days, was released in 2005 and included the hit singles ' Feel Good Inc. ', ' Dirty Harry ' and of cours this song ' Dare '. Demon Days went five times platinum in the UK, double platinum in the United States, and earned five Grammy Award nominations for 2006, and won one of them in the Best Pop Collaboration with Vocals category.

Released in August 2005 as the second single from the album and became the first Gorillaz single to hit number 1 on the UK Singles Chart. The song was originally to be called ' It's There ' but they had to change it because Shaun Ryder, who is the guest singer on the track, has such a strong Mancunian accent it made it sound like he was saying ' It's dare ', hence the title. The video features Ryder as a giant disembodied head kept alive by machinery in Noodle's closet. In a departure for the band, the song is mostly performed in the video by Noodle, with 2D, Russel, and Murdoc only appearing in short cameos in the video. 2D is seen listening into Noodle's room by pressing his ear to the floor, Russel is shown seated on a toilet reading a newspaper and Murdoc appears at the end of the video lying in bed with Shaun Ryder, who wakes up, apparently having dreamt up the entire sequence of the video. Murdoc tells Ryder to "go back to sleep, honey," after which it is further revealed to be another nightmare dreamt by Murdoc, who also wakes up bolt upright in his own bed gasping and panting. In commentary, Noodle claims that Murdoc initially protested at her doing the entire video by herself, but she countered that she had seen him show off too much in the Feel Good, Inc. video, and adds that he was asleep in his Winnebago for the whole of the shoot up until the final scene. The video was directed by Jamie Hewlett and Pete Candeland.

The video is also well known as a tribute to classic horror movies. In the very beginning of the video we see Gorillaz 'reject false icons' statue, which one may recognize as Pazuzu, the figurine from The Exorcist and son of the devil. Crows are flying around the building, in a tribute to Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds. Shaun Ryder is depicted as a Frankenstein-like monster who is brought to life as the music begins. Amongst the contraptions that are part of the life support system appear to be Atari joysticks from the early 1980s. Ryder's head being kept alive is a pun on the movie The Brain That Wouldn't Die. The tube attached to Ryder's cheek switches from side to side as a tribute to the goofs commonly made in early horror movies. When we see Russel sitting on the toilet, he is holding a newspaper with a headline that reads CANNIBAL MASSAKREN, the Danish title of Cannibal Ferox, a horrifically violent horror movie that is banned in many countries, and on the back of the newspaper a headline text of the name "Freddie" is seen which is possibly a reference to Freddy Krueger from A Nightmare on Elm Street. The zoom on Noodle's eye at the end of the video is taken directly from Ringu and its American remake, The Ring. on the night rating 10/10

So its time to love you and leave you for another week folks. Its been a long and entertaining week for the old Captain this week, and the old bones are in need of a rest after the alcohol fueled last few days of my break from work. This weeks blog has been a long one, and it does seem that its getting bigger by the week, but then I do have a lot of stuff to say and I know it gives the wife something to read at work! So to edn again this week is another classic line from the man himself Homer. Until next week folks bye bye.

" Homer: Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get!. "