Thursday 31st January


You do tend to forget how quickly these Thursday nights come around. Must be my age! So here we are again with the all new Captain Jacks Tracks. As last week took so long to put together, this week has led to me living by my own rules of Preparation, Preparation, Preparation, which has of course meant browsing through page after page of hot chicks to decide who gets picked on the hot list! I must admit this new blog is a bit of a chore now, but someone has to do it, you know the hours spent flicking through page after page of semi-clad babes takes it out of a normal person, but my constitution is strong, and I will, for the good of the blog, continue to indulge you with my findings!
And you will be pleased to here that my Celebrity chum Ronnie Wood, was so pleased that I brought to the world his fantastic picture of Mick Jagger, he has very kindly agreed to send me his artistic impressions of the Celebrity Bull-Plop story’s of the week. It is a great honour to have these pictures being brought to this Blog from one of the Rock World’s great artists, both with a guitar and a paintbrush. His artistic flair over the next few weeks and months, I’m sure will bring a smile to our face’s and a leap in our hearts, as our celebrity chums are put onto canvas for the ages!
So on we go then. Yet again it was rather a quiet night tonight. Shaun was suffering a bit, and he only managed 16 pints before collapsing into a heap on the floor. The P.D.C Darts Premier League kicked off again this week, meaning we spent most of the night nipping into the bar to keep an eager eye on darts maestro Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, who after three years going unbeaten in the tournament finally lost a match! Oh well all good things come to and end, just ask Steve McClaren! So with all that other excitement we almost didn’t have time for any singing…………………………who am I trying to kid. Another four songs to add to the ever growing list, and for as different as night I to day, but more of that later. Here we go with my Classic Track for this week.


Captain Jacks Classic Track #2



Mott The Hoople - Roll Away The Stone 1973


Roll Away The Stone was the bands second most well known song, only just being pipped by All The Young Dudes, although I think this shows just how good the band were as a ‘Glam Rock’ band, with the emphasis being a lot more on the rock. The early 70’s was renowned for its throw away acts, but little pockets of Supergroups formed. Mott The Hoople lined up as Mick Ralphs, Ian Hunter, Verden Allen, Pete Watts and Dale Griffin. As the Glam era took a firm hold, artists such as David Bowie, looked upon these bands and all helped the Glam Rock club rule the charts for almost a decade.
This song reached number 8 in December 1973, and spent a total of 12 weeks in the Top 40. Although a Top 10 hit for the band in 1973, it actually was on the bands album ‘The Hoople’ released the following year in April 1974, where it reached number 7 in the U.K. album charts, spending a total of 11 weeks on the chart.
As the competition from other bands got greater the band decided to split in late 1971, and on hearing the rumour, long time fan, David Bowie pleaded for them to reconsider, and offered the band ’Suffragette City’ from his forthcoming ‘Ziggy Stardust’ album. The band kindly refused the offer, but Bowie persisted, and he wrote the bands biggest hit ‘All The Young Dudes’ As this hit propelled them upwards, they went on to record the other big hits they had, ‘All The Way From Memphis’ and ‘Roll Away The Stone’ but after the big up came the swift down as the original line up split in 1974, with Hunter and Ralphs both leaving, Hunter as a solo artist, and Ralphs forming Bad Company, which left the remaining band to continue on as just simply ‘Mott’.
No Mott the Hoople reunion has ever occurred, though negotiations for one were attempted in 1985. All of the original line up have shown some interest at various times in the idea over the last 25 years or so, though recently Hunter has ruled out a full Mott reunion. A full reunion currently seems unlikely, although in 2002 and 2004, Mick Ralphs toured with Ian Hunter, as part of Hunter's backing band. Hunter's memoir of the road, Dairy Of A Rock & Roll Star , detailing the 1972 U.S. tour with Mott the Hoople is considered one of most important rock road diaries to date and is said to be a big inspiration behind the ‘Spinal Tap’ movie in 1984
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You see this new format is beginning to gel itself together, and guess what, more to come for you all this week. But first is what can only be descibed as Steve McClaren's reign as England Manager.

Captain Jacks Joke Of The Week

Thor, the Viking God of Thunder, and Odin, King Of The Gods are enjoying a flagon of mead in Valhalla, the Norse heaven. Suddenly, Thor turns to Odin. “You know, my Lord” he says, thoughtfully thumbing his huge mystical hammer. “Being a god is brilliant, but it’s been a millennium since I had any sex.” Odin nodded and pondered for a while. Raising his mighty head, he took pity on his melon-sacked subordinate. “Go to Earth, O Thor,” he replied. “Find thyself there what they call a ‘lady of the night’. Treat her to your manly pleasures.”
Bowing gracefully, Thor retired and followed Odin’s advice, before returning the next night. “My Lord,” he said, grinning from ear to ear, “You were right – it was wonderful. We had passionate sex 37 times!” “37 times?” exclaimed Odin. “That poor woman!! Mere mortals cannot endure such treatment. You must go and apologize!” Humbled, Thor went back down to earth and found the aforementioned prostitute. “I’m sorry about last night,” he apologized. “But you see, I’m Thor.” “You’re Thor?” shouted the girl, “What about me? I can’t even pith.”

Another beauty for you to giggle at. So after another fine joke of the week, lets get on with another little new feature, now I know there was lots to see last week, and lets be fair, if entertaining was easy then Steve McClaren should have no problems getting a new job as a clown at Children’s party’s, I mean lets face it, he is over qualified for the job. No entertaining you all is no easy feat you know. I spend many an hour scouring the Net for new items every week, and most of them I have found have had there funny five minutes of fame on here, but as I am only here to entertain, and bring entertainment to you all, I thought you could all benefit from my vast knowledge of films, music, television and books. As you may not know, I spend a lot of time on the old Sky Plus, recording loads of things to watch on the old box, and when not watching, I will never be far away from a bit of tune listening, and failing that I do like a good read before bedtime.
So as I have got so much to recommend to you, I have decided to put it to good use in Captain Jack Recommends. But I must warn you, my memory is not what it used to be and I may need help in some of the titles.


Captain Jack Recommends

So I was watching this film on Saturday night, bloody brilliant it was. It was about this guy who was a down on his luck boxer, and anyway this big shot world champion wanted to redeem his failing reputation by fighting a bit of a no hoper, who would be seen as a man of the people, and give him his dignity back, now what was it called?
So anyway this boxer gets this fight and runs up some steps and waves his arms around a lot, then one of his mates introduces him to his sister, who to be fair was a big of a dog, which was luck for her as she worked in a pet shop, I think she used to be a bloke as she was named Hadrian or something. Anyway this boxer fancies the pants off her as he has been hit around the head a few times, and he has an old trainer who used to be the penguin in the Batman tv show, who teaches him the values of working hard and training hard, and that even the little guy deserves a shot at the title. Now what was it called.
So anyway the fight comes around and this Italian Horse Bloke nick named Ricky or something like that has to fight the world champ who was named Apollo 15 I think, and they beat the crap out of each other, both fall over a couple of times, but the fight ends up a draw, so the champ keeps his title and the little guys earns stacks of cash and loads of respect, great film but what the hell was it called, no wait a minute, no it’s gone again. No I’ve got it……………………………Pretty Woman!

So no confusion there then! And I know this next section is bound to be of interest to you all, and with my new celebrity artist pal Ronnie Wood on board, it's sure to be a winner.

Captain Jacks Celebrity Bull-Plop Story Of The Week #2
“They tried to make me go to Rehab and I said Yes, Yes, Yes!” You know there is a song in there somewhere I’m sure of it, anyway back to the story. Troubled singer Amy Winehouse has been admitted to a Celebrity Rehab facility in London after suffering ‘dangerous level’s’ of dehydration following her battle to kick her drink and drugs habit under a false name, probably something like H. Eroin or C. O’Caine or Double Vodka Red Bull maybe.
A source said she was looking ‘very pale and thin’ No sh1t if you fill yourself with booze and drugs what do you expect stupid! She looked ‘ropey’ and ‘exhausted’, no change there then, and we all hope she hasn’t taken a turn for the worse.
Winehouse’s father Mitch confirmed his daughter was in the clinic, saying “She is OK. She is making progress but expect her to be in Re-Hab for a long time” Well just long enough for her to see her fella get released from jail for beating the crap out of somebody, probably getting her some drugs>
Friend to the stars Ronnie Wood visited her inside the clinic to paint her at this critical time in her rehabilitation, so she could see how far she had slipped off reality. How kind of him, although Amy was said to be less than receptive to our artistic chum.

You can see where this is going to go every week now can't you! Now not every blog offers this service, but here it you mid reading break with our next feature.


Captain Jacks Five Minute Scive








So after you have had time to catch your breath, its back lads. The part you have all been waiting for........


Billie Piper was born on 22 September 1982 in London. She began her long (Laugh out loud NOW) and successful musical career in 1998, when she mysteriously went straight to number one in the charts with her debut single ‘Because We Want To’ and then again with her second single ‘Girlfriend’. Her debut album, ’Honey To The B’, also went straight into the Number 1 spot, astounding all the music industry as it was, to say the least pant’s. In fact Billie herself said the only singing she had done before was at her local Karaoke, and she was as surprised as anyone that this drivel even charted.

She was nominated for two Brit’s in 1999 (Best Classical Act and Best International Newcomer as all the other categories involved real artists). Unfortunately she missed out on those awards, narrowly pipped at the post by Pavarotti and Natalie Imbruglia, she finally won an award at the highly rated Smash Hits awards, you know the ones where the snot nose teenagers get their say, where she won Best Female artist, just pipping Kate Bush, Madonna, Whitney Houston, and Maria Carey, all of whom were relatively unknown in the UK, well to most teenagers anyway.
In 2001 she met and flirted with well known ‘ginger’ Chris Evans, and after a swift whirlwind romance she married him sixth months later in Las Vegas. Billie claimed not too of known that Chris was a multi millionaire (Yeah right!). From the start of the relationship, the pair suffered constant abuse, mainly due to the large age gap, the huge amounts of cash Evans spent on her, and the fact a fit bird married a ginger. After finding out Evans had contributed to her pop career by buying every copy of all her singles and albums, which had taken them to the top of the charts in 1999 (May not of mentioned that earlier) She came to her sense’s and dumped the ‘Ginge’ in 2006, and finally divorced him in 2007. As she wanted none of his multi-million pound empire (Yeah Right!) She accepted the garage full of her single as part of the divorce settlement, and set her brother up selling them on car boot sales around London.
Her next break came when she followed her dream of acting, and she landed the role of Rose Tyler in the new BBC adaptation of Doctor Who. She played her new role alongside the new Doctor ’Christopher Ecclestone’. Many thought that her work on the show was brilliant, but not Ecclestone, who quit after only one series, after stating “She constantly broke out into singing her hits all over the set, and it was very, very annoying” She ended up as Most Popular Actress in 2005, and 2006 for her work on the show, alongside new Doctor ’David Tennant’ who didn’t mind the singing due to the fact he was deaf!

Phew, another top bit of totty for you to look at. This is fast becoming my favourite part of the blog, and I'm sure most of you may be thinking the same, well Shaun will anyway! So as we swiftly move on with this week's blog, it's back to the music with this weeks....

Captain Jacks Live Is Best





Linkin Park - What I've Done

Donnington 9th June 2007

So lets crack on with the music with my songs for this week. Another quietish week ended up in me getting to sin another four songs this week, again old, new and most of all classic. This week I sang 1.Heat Of The Moment by Asia 2.I Guess That's Why They Call It The Blues by Elton John 3.Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5 and 4. Angie by The Rolling Stones.

Heat Of The Moment by Asia

Highest UK Chart Position: No 46 July 1982

Heat Of The Moment was the first and biggest hit by UK prog rockers Asia, and with it’s summery feel too it, you know the great guitar riffs as you drive your convertible with the hood down listening to a great rock track as you drive along a sun soaked road alongside a glistening shoreline, or if you live in England, driving along Blackpool/Rhyl/Skegness/Southport prom with the windows up to stop the rain getting in!
The band were formed in 1981 and were labelled a super group, as they included former members of Yes, Emerson, Lake and Palmer, King Crimson and Uriah Heap, all big in the prog rock genre. Although the band had such illustrious musicians including John Wetton from King Crimson, Geoff Downes and Steve Howe from Yes and Carl Palmer from believe or not Emerson, Lake and Palmer. The band was formed and the music industry got very excited as it was rumoured Rick Wakeman was also to be in the band, but Wakeman pulled out at the last minute shortly before a massive deal with Geffen records was signed. But the fans and the buzz around the music industry almost guaranteed that there first single would be a massive hit, but even though the hype was high, it only reached number 46 in the UK charts, and the debut album was heavily criticised by the music press.
Despite the limited success in UK charts, the single proved to be a massive US hit, reaching Number 1 in the Mainstream Rock Chart, and Number 4 on the Billboard Top 100 chart. A sell out US tour followed, starting in theatres, but due to demand moving out onto the arena circuit, and the debut album hit the top spot in the US charts. This was all due to the new baby in America at the time MTV, and Asia benefited from having their debut video on rotation five times a day, a first for MTV back in the 80’s.
However they never really hit it big after their first album and single, and after the American love of prog rock bands waned, the band finally split in 1985. But the name went on and as members who left were replaced, the band continued on and with original members getting back together in 1992, they went on a European tour in 1993 too sell out crowds.
The band split again in the late nineties to pursue separate careers, but the original four got back together in 2006 to reform and go on another sell out US tour, and in 2007 they began recording together again, for the original members first new material since 1983. The new album Phoenix is due for release in April 2008, and a massive world tour has already been announced starting in March





I Guess That’s Why They Call It The Blues By Elton John

Highest UK Chart Position: No 5 April 1985

From unknown to well known. This is one of my favourites to sing, as with the vocal being in the mid range its not to taxing on the old vocal chords, and with it being an Elton John song, its also a bit of a crowd pleaser. The song took Elton to Number 5 in April of 1983, and features his good friend Stevie Wonder on harmonica.
It was co-written as usual by Elton and his long time lyricist Bernie Taupin, who has been with Elton from the start. The pair met via a wanted ad in a music trade magazine, and they hit it off from the start, and went on to form one of the best song writing partnerships in British musical history, with Taupin providing the soulful and sometimes heartfelt lyrics, and Elton providing the brilliant music.
This track was taken from Elton’s Too Low For Zero, which also had his other big hit at the time, I’m Still Standing, another Top Ten hit for Elton.
The video was recorded at the Rivoli Ballroom in London, and features the story of a young 50’s couple, who are just starting a relationship. It shows them dancing at a Rock And Roll Night, which featured Elton in a very fetching sparkly suit on piano. The pair are seen falling for each other, but the time comes for the guy to be sent away to do his National Service, where he has to shave his once fashionable haircut off, and suffer at the hands of a very angry looking sergeant. His time is spent dreaming of the girl he left behind, and is left wishing of the time he could be spending with her.
The Rivoli has quite a history in British Culture itself.It started life as the Crofton Park Picture Palace in July 1913 and was converted into a ballroom in 1957, reopening in 1959 with a large sprung maple dance floor. It is currently in private hands. Famous for its original decor and interior fittings featuring red velvet, flock wallpaper, chandeliers and glitter balls, it is often used as a film location and plays host to many dance and musical events. It has found favour with pop video producers and style shoots - rock band Oasis, singer Charlotte Church, fashion model Kate Moss are but three of many glitterati to make use of the venue for shoots. Live music plays a part at the Rivoli regularly. Indie rock band The White Stripes played a gig there in 2007 although it's more usual to find jive, rock and roll and swing bands making use of the ballroom.
The building has been granted grade two Listed Building by English Heritage in response to items in the press concerning its possible sale, which might have led to its closure and demolition.





Won’t Go Home Without You by Maroon 5

Highest UK Chart Position: No 44 November 2007

Now I never thought I would actually like a Maroon 5 song but I actually like this Maroon 5 song! This is the third track to be released from the bands second album It Won’t Be Soon Before Long. Adam Levine, lead singer and main songwriter, said the song ‘is about desperately trying to impress a girl and doing everything you can to make her listen to you, but failing’ a theme acted out in the video of the single.
The song itself has a very familiar guitar undertone running through the track. The song is based on the bass line from The Police track ‘Every Breath You Take’. Levine, who admits to being a huge Police fan said ‘It is one of my favourite songs, and an inspiration too my song writing. I always wanted to write a song like it, there is no way it wasn’t a direct influence on the track. The rest of the band felt it was a strange Beach Boys meets The Strokes mix, because of how the guitar arrangement sounded, but after a few re-records we got it how we wanted it to sound, as a homage to one of our favourite bands.’
When Maroon 5 were asked to support The Police in their comeback tour they jumped at the chance, but they never performed this track, because of its obvious debt to ‘Every Breath You Take’ Levine said ‘I’m sure we would of recorded it differently if we had known the Police were going to reform. They were never going to get back together as we all thought, so at the time it was a great tribute to them, but a week after we released the album, they announced they were getting back and here we are on tour with our biggest influence, so it would have been silly for us to play it’
Although wanting to be known as a rock band, they have their roots firmly in the pop rock genre. Their first album ’Songs About Jane’ received huge critical acclaim and produced four top ten UK singles, including She Will Be Loved, Sunday Morning, This Love and Harder To Breath, which hit the headlines for its misogynistic lyrics and This Love for it’s sexually explicit video, as the band tried to dispense of their nice boy image. Five years after the release of their first album came the second It Won’t Be Soon Before Long, which saw the band return with the hits Makes Me Wonder, Wake Up Call and this one.





Angie by The Rolling Stones

Highest UK Chart Position: No 5 September 1973

Well its always nice to end with a classic, and this is well up on the all time classics list, by (I am a little biased here) probably the greatest band in the world ever. Recorded during November and December in 1972, and was taken from the bands album Goats Head Soup. The song was written in the main by Keith Richards, one half of the legendary partner ship that has made the Stones what they are. In a style change for the rockers, Angie is an acoustically driven ballad which tells the story of the end of a romance.
The song is regarded as one of the bands best, with poignant lyrics about lost love and the grieving process you have to go through. Mick Jagger gives a heartfelt and wrenching performance that’s sends a shiver down your spine if you take the time to listen to the pure emotion he conveys in his vocals on the song. Stones long time regular Nicky Hopkins plays the songs distinctive piano section, and Nicky Harrison arranged and played the strings on the track.
Despite having a downbeat feel to the track, and the fact that up until this point the band had been unknown for their ballads, Angie went straight in at Number 1 in the US charts.
The songs origins have been a major talking point, but as usual the band keep the fans guessing as to its real origins. The favourite for the songs origins is that Angie was actually David Bowie’s wife Angela, after it was reported that Jagger had been involved with her before the couple divorced, but Jagger denies this. Keith Richards has stated the song has its origins in a more modest surrounding. He claims the song was written about his recently born daughter named Angela. He states the chord sequences were in his head and being written while his partner was pregnant with his daughter, and as she was born and named Angela, the title just fitted for the song.
The song is one of the bands most popular live tracks, and has appeared on every Stones tour since the 1981 American tour, where recordings of the song were used and placed on the Stripped and Live Licks albums.
After singing almost 25 Stones tracks on the Karaoke last year, this is the first I have done this year. And while most of the time, despite being some of the best known British Rock Tracks of the past 40 odd years, not many people claimed to know the legendary songs. Well for the uninitiated you will be pleased to know that this year I do plan on singing them all over again this year, for those who missed out on them last time!




There you go folks another four great songs to add to the ever growing list. And now onto the final furlong.So as it appears to of taken on a life of its own, and with the appearance on my fellow blogger Shaun’s almost as good as mine blog, the latest Fifa 08 scores are here for you. Now some dispute over a lower division draw in the first round of games, a blustery Sunday night was made more entertaining by another eight games by our duelling PS3 rivals.
Now for the record, only seven of the games went through to completion, as one game was called off due to floodlight failure, well actually the game froze but it sounds better if you say match abandoned. But as the game was over 80 minutes gone, as in real football, the result at the time stands, so I was 2-0 up and about to make it 3-0 after a red card and penalty was conceded when a late and quite frankly leg breaking tackle was made by one of Shaun’s less skilful players!
Despite the rematch being won by a spectacular 25 yard volley in the dying seconds of the match, I then picked myself up to win two on the trot, where I managed hefty wins against lower class opposition, well Liverpool and Italy anyway. So here are the latest results and ‘fully complete’ league table.

Man United 0 - 1 Chelsea
AC Milan 2 - 2 Chelsea
Real Madrid 0 - 0 Chelsea
Portsmouth 1 - 2 Blackburn
Sparta Prague 2 - 0 VFB Stuttgart
Sparta Prague 1 - 2 VFB Stuttgart
Everton 3 - 1 Liverpool
England 4 - 1 Italy


Another week draws firmly to a close, and I'm sure by next week, me old mucker Shaun will of disputed every result. With the new era firmly in place now I must retreat back to my little private sanctuary to start on next weeks extravaganza. Oh well at least it brings happiness to so many people, and how else do I get a chance to check out hot babes without the wife complaining! See you all next week...

" Indy Why Does The Floor Move? Gimme Your Torch {He Throws The Torch Into The Darkness} Snakes......Why'd It Have To Be Snakes? Asps - Very Dangerous.... You Go First!"

4 comments:

Hayley said...

My mums asked me to put a request on for her. she's heard a song that she thinks you will be good at so here it is:

Nickleback - Rockstar!

Shaun said...

is it me, or do Billie Pipers breasts grow considerably between the picture where she's sitting down in white to where she's wearing the black open chest top?

Also, again in the white outfit, don't you think she looks uncannily like Kate McCann!!?!?!?!

Or is it just me? :p

Hayley said...

No comments on the hours of work put into writing the blog or a song request. Me thinks this hot chicks sections is too distracting and you shouldnt study the pictures quite so much!!

Think its just you about the Kate McCann pic cant see it myself

Captain Jack said...

I'm with you mate although she looks nothing like the bloke out of Minder! Oi wife keep your nose out this is the bloke only section of the blog, and anyway your the one who finalises the final pictures!