Thursday 13th March 2008

Ahoy there matey’s, and welcome to another fun packed week in the life of the one and original Karaoke Pirate. Its going to be another long one this week folks, as I have a couple of special reports I do want to slip in between the rest of your regular features. And to be honest, Thursday was a bit of a packed one this week, so with only having three Karaoke Classics to bring you (I love that new title) then I do need to fill the empty spaces a little, who am I kidding! All the regulars are here for you again, a very heavy Classic track, an old school Hot Chick, Every Picture is still singing, another Celebrity Star Wars, a film that some of you will definitely want to see being made, a great live track, a very disturbing Alternative Music History, and a St Patrick’s Day orientated joke of the week, and of course no week would be complete without Ronnie Wood and his take on the celebrity world.
Now with just two weeks left before Planet Rock is about to be taken off air, here is the latest on the campaign to save the station. The good news this week was the very visible support from Gary Moore and David Gilmour who are both backing the campaign. We've also seen Fish sporting a very fetching Save Planet Rock t-shirt on stage.

While it remains very frustrating for us that no news, regarding the station being bought, is coming from Planet Rock HQ, it must be hell for the staff at Planet Rock who are as much in the dark as we are. However, we should be equally encouraged that nothing is being said either about the station definitely closing on the 28th and I honestly believe that this means negotiations continue with interested parties and that these must be at an advanced stage now. I also hope that by this time next week the whole thing is done and dusted. It's still important that we keep plugging away at whoever we can, to get them to support and link to the Save Planet Rock site. David Gilmour's message lead to a large increase in the numbers visiting the site and it would be great to keep this kind of thing going from other bands. The bigger the names the better. All in all some national publicity, such as that has been seen at several concerts in the last couple of weeks, with the Save Planet Rock posters being handed out, then hopefully fingers crossed, next week will see me bringing you some good cause for celebration.

Anyway lets leave all that behind us now, and move onto this week’s musical version of Catchphrase in………..

Now the last two weeks have been easy, so a bit more of a challenge for you this week. Below is a picture, and the picture depicts a well known song title, which you have to guess, then you have to read the three clues which will give away the answer, then rest of the blog until you scroll down to the bottom of this weeks blog and then throw your arms up in the air at the delight in knowing that you had know idea that I was the song in the picture and how you had thought it was that, but you didn’t like to say in case you were wrong! Its OK to guess, that’s the general idea! Now lets bloody get on with it before I forget what the hell I’m talking about!

1. The original song was called Man In Motion, and was written by David Foster, a Canadian songwriter, who wrote it about athlete Rick Hansen, who was paralysed from the waist down in a car accident.
2. The better known version is taken from a hit 1985 film which starred the then “Brat Pack” of film stars, including Demi Moore, Ally Sheedy, Judd Nelson, Emilio Estevez, Rob Lowe and Andrew McCarthy.
3. The songs title also refers to the spectral light sometimes seen around a ship's mast.

Now I think that one is maybe not as hard as the other two now, but I’m sure you will be all scratching your heads thinking what the hell is that all about. Well no time to waste on chitter chatter because here is this weeks very loud Classic Track.

Classic Track #8

Enter Sandman - Metallica 1991

Well yet again it was only a matter of time before this one got onto the list. The whole premise of this little section has been to bring to you songs that have changed music, or maybe taken a bands popularity to another level. This one did both. Metallica have become one of the biggest bands on the planet, and mainly off the back of this song and the album it was taken from.

This was the opening track and lead single from their eponymous 1991 album Metallica. The song was produced by Bob Rock, and the music was written by Kirk Hammett, Lars Ulrich, and James Hetfield. Vocalist and guitarist Hetfield wrote the lyrics, which deal with nightmares.
The single achieved sales of more than 500,000 copies in the United States, spurring sales of over 15 million copies for the album, and propelling Metallica to worldwide popularity.
Metallica's songwriting method involved lead guitarist Kirk Hammett and bassist Jason Newstead submitting tapes of song ideas and concepts to rhythm guitarist James Hetfield and drummer Lars Ulrich, who then utilized the material in conjunction with their own ideas to write songs in Ulrich's house in California.

Enter Sandman evolved from a guitar riff that Hammett wrote. Originally, the riff was just two bars in length, but Ulrich suggested that the first bar should be played three times. The song was quickly finished, but Hetfield did not come up with vocal melodies and lyrics for a long time. The song, in fact, was among the album's last to have lyrics, and the lyrics featured in the song are not the original, as Hetfield felt that Enter Sandman sounded to "catchy and kind of commercial" and so to contradict the sound, he wrote lyrics about destroying the perfect family and that some families have huge horrible secrets to hide, such as the lyrics to this song, which refer to cot death. For the first time in Metallica's history, however, Ulrich and producer Bob Rock told Hetfield that they felt he could write better lyrics. Nevertheless, according to Ulrich, the song was the foundation and the guide to the whole record even before it had lyrics.
Initially, the song Holier Than Thou was selectedto be the opening track and first single from Metallica, according to the documentary A Year And A Half In The Year Of Metallica. Producer Bob Rock told Lars Ulrich and James Hetfield that the album had five or six songs that are going to be classics, not only with fans but also on the radio, and that the first song that should come out is Holier Than Thou.
According to Rock, Ulrich was the only band member who felt, even before recording, that Enter Sandman was the ideal song to be the first single. Ulrich has said that there was a big argument about which song should come out first and, after explaining his point of view to the rest of the band, Enter Sandman eventually became the opening track and first single of the album.
The rest is, as they say, history. The song had a huge impact on the bands popularity. It hit number 16 on the US Billboard chart, and reached number 5 on the UK chart, with the album hitting number one on both sides of the Atlantic, and all over the world.

The video was premiered two weeks before the release of the single, and was only Metallica’s second video. The plot of the music video directly relates to the theme of the song, combining images of a child having nightmares and images of an old man with shots of the band playing the song. The child dreams that he is drowning, falling from the top of a building, being chased by a truck, and finally falling from a mountain while escaping the truck. During the part of the song in which the child recites a prayer, he is being watched by the old man. The music video won Best Hard Rock Video at the 1992 MTV Music Video Awards and was nominated for Best Cinematography and Best Editing.

Now if that was not loud enough for you, then you seriously need to get to the doctors as there is a serious medical problem you are suffering from called Icantheremettallicaitis or something like that anyway. Right here we go then, time to start to tickle the funny spot with my........

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, " You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy."
Paddy replies, "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then." Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.
He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face, "Shoite, Shoite!" He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step onto the pavement and falls flat on his face.
"Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls himself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."
He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"
Jess replied "Mick phoned, . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub."

Avast ye landlubbers. An welcome to another meeting with not one, but four members of my fearfull crew, ye bilge sucking barnacles. These four fearful buccaneers roam the seas in their vessel Satan’s Barnacle, and are known as Captain Blood And Guts, or as you know him, Mick Jagger, Cannibal Drake Ironman, or Keith Richards, Cedar Teeth, or Ronnie Wood and good old Morgan Drake, or as ye all know him Charlie Watts. Shiver Me Timbers!
Ye must batten down the hatches when these rapscallions are in port. True Brethren of the Coast are these four, with many a doubloon thrown in their general direction me hearties to add to their booty.
The Captn’ is oft seen singing a shanty in his crows nest, and ol leather faced Cannibal Drake, is oft heard plucking his cutlass in a very strange manner in one hand, with a constant flow of rum in the other, the scurvy old dog.
Blow me down these four are true old salts, and have pillaged and weighed anchor all over the seven seas. Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh me old Jolly Rodgers more of the fearfull crew next week, Yo Ho Ho and a Bottle Of Rum etc, etc, etc.

Now Ronnie has been out and about this week, and instead of an actual story, its more of a premonition this week. Rapper Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter’s headline slot at the Glastonbury Festival has apparently caused a downturn in ticket registrations for this years summer event, according to celebrity farmer Michael Eavis.
Eavis has admitted that demand has waned for this years event, based on the number of early ticket applications, but fully accepts this as his choice to name a middle of the range act to headline the main pyramid stage, as opposed to previous crowd pleasers, such as Coldplay, Oasis or Radiohead.
Eavis says “There is not as many as last year as we do not have one of the super big, big, big sort of headlining acts anymore. We’ve gone for something middle range, although Jay-Z is huge in America. But its not like Radiohead or Muse is it, so we didn’t expect the demand to be as high.”
As you can see, Ronnie has depicted Mr Eavis worst nightmare, with only a handful of stick men sticking around to see the rapper, maybe next year he should ask the Stones to headline!

More from Ronnie next week with another celebrity painting for you to enjoy. Anyway before we get on with this weeks Hot Chick, here is a little game to calm your weary heads.

Air Hockey

Now after that little break, are your eyes ready to pop out of your head? Is you libido in need of a boost? Is there anyone out there that you think may be able to help? Well if you can't find your own, let me assist you a little with this weeks.....

Now fella’s I know she is a little older now at 40,not that that is old at all, but in her hay day she was very, very hot indeed, and of course was better known for her role as leather clad hottie Xena The Warrior Princess.OoooooHhhhhhhh YyyyyyEeeeeeSsssss!!!!!!

Lucy was the fifth of seven children, and was born in New Zealand. She has five brothers and one sister, and began acting at secondary school. After studying foreign languages at Auckland University, she dropped out to travel abroad with then boyfriend Garth Lawless.

At 19 she became pregnant with Garths child, and in 1988 they married in Australia. Their daughter, Daisy was born in 1988 in New Zealand. But Lucy’s big break was about to come.
She had starred in small time New Zealand show, Shark In The Pool, but her break came when she played a man-hating Amazon named Lysia in the pilot for Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, entitled Hercules and the Amazon Women. Due to her huge norks, and obvious acting ability, well she could squeal and throw a sword around, she was asked to play Xena.

She was so popular in the show, that a spin off series was began, and it went on to run for several seasons alongside the Hercules show, with both shows, intermingling throughout their runs.
The show began to grow popular in the gay community, and has a cult Lesbian following, due to Xena’s relationship with travelling companion Gabrielle. And here she can bee seen naked in the bath with Gabrielle.

As you all know, trusty sidekicks in these types of shows are usually the ones who end up causing the hero's to get into all sorts of situations, you know such as fighting hoards of men with only a sword and a leather bikini on, or maybe fighting a huge beast drooling and such like, or maybe by getting yourself kidnapped so you have to be rescued by the said hero, or maybe you just fell into the water so you would have to be dragged out and given the kiss of life by your hot wet half naked leather clad mate! Nudge Nudge Wink Wink!

As for the rest of her career, well apart from vehemently denying her sexuality, Lucy decided to allow some pictures of her with her baby to be released for an advertising campaign promoting breast feeding. Yes I have the advert!

And since Xena. Well Lucy has guest starred on several other shows, such as The X-Files, The Simpsons, Two And A Half Men and Battlestar Galactica. She has also appeared in the movies Euro Trip and Spiderman, and the 2005 horror flick Boogeyman.

She has now decided to take on a singing career, following a successful appearance on Celebrity Duets in the States, a show where famous stars sing duets with well famous singers, obviously. Since the show, she has recorded several albums, and had two sell out tours, which have recieved some great reviews, well they said she was OK, well maybe alright, fine I haven't got a clue what she sounds like, but who cares with pictures like this.

Now she may not be young anymore, but Captain Jack will not let age get in the way of a hot chick, and many of you fella’s out there will have been glued to the screen when Xena was about, lets face it, a leather clad warrior babe who has lesbian tendencies, every mans dream!!!!!!

Ah the life of Captain Jack has become much more idyllic since this new blog has taken shape, I mean where else can you get good quality entertainment like this from on a weekly basis, my goodness its got everything you could want. Music, Films, Celebrities making arses of themselves, err Pirates, Drinking, Music oh I've said that one, err Football, and of course the Hottest Chicks around. Save's going out on a Friday! Anyway your friendly neighbourhood Captain knows how much you like your special reports on all the latest big things coming your way, and here we have a real big one for you. Its a very special report on what is sure to be one of the biggest films of the year.

Yes folks. Its true. One of the greatest film series is due to continue this year, and with the release date set for 22nd May its only just around the corner. It is of course the new Indiana Jones film called Indiana Jones and The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull. Set in 1957, this fourth film in the series pits an older and wiser Indy, played once again by Harrison Ford, against agents of the Soviet Union, led by Spalko, played by Cate Blanchett, to search for the crystal skull. Indy is assisted by his former lover Marion Ravenwood, played by the returning Karen Allen, as well as the sidekick, Mutt played by Shia LeBouf, and fellow archaeologist Mac, played by Ray Winston. John Hurt and Jim Broadbent also play fellow academics.
The film was in development hell since the 1989 release of The Last Crusade, because Spielberg and Ford initially disagreed over Lucas's choice of the skull as the plot device. Screenwriters Jeb Stuart, Jeffery Baum, M.Night Shyamaln, Frank Darabont and Jeff Nathanson wrote drafts, before David Koeff's script satisfied Speilberg, Lucas and Ford. Shooting finally commenced in June 2007, and took place in the USA so Speilberg didn’t have to spend time away from his family.
In order to keep aesthetic continuity with the previous films, there will be minimal use of computer generated imagery and more of a reliance on traditional stuntwork from the previous films.
Producer Frank Marshall has confirmed that the film is set in 1957, making it nineteen years since his last outing, thus acknowledging the real-life passing of years between films. Indiana Jones is having a quiet life teaching before being thrust back into his old adventuring.
If you love him or not, this is sure to be one of the biggest films of the year, and the marketing alone is sure to put Indy back into the limelight again. Anyway, for those who want a quick Indy fix, here is the trailer for the film.

Yes its that time again. More stars than ever before all wanted to be it the Star Wars films, and this week, a sporting star has come up with a novel idea for that useless little droid R2 D2, I mean what other use could the dustbin like hunk of metal have a better use for. Here in his full glory is former Boxing Heavyweight Champion Of The World - George Foreman.

How do you like your burger Chewie, you big hairy monster.

Hmmm tasty. Now I'm feeling a little tirsty after all those burgers, Anyone fancy a little drinky. Good because now it's time for.....

So what have I got for you this week. Well sticking with the Star Wars theme, here’s a cheeky little number known by a name I’m sure you will recognise.

Darth Vader

1 measure of Vodka
1 measure of Gin
1 measure of White Rum
1 measure of Tequila
1 measure of Triple Sec
2 measures of Sour Mix
Fill with Jagermeister

In a cocktail mixer put together the Vodka, Gin, White Rum, Tequila, Triple Sec and the sour mix. Add in a generous helping of ice, the give the mix a shake until mixed fully. In a tall glass filled with ice, pour the mix in, and top the whole lot up with a generous helping of Jagermeister.

Bloody Hell, that sound like rocket fuel. Ah well its all for the good of you out there. Cheers folks. Blimey that does just hit the spot. Lets have another one to make sure that first was not just a fluke.
What do yoush mean Imb dunk, Madam I mey well be drunk but in the mornings I wils be shober, you madam will still be ugly!.
Ossifer I schwear to drunk I’m not god. I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am.
How dishd you get in here neway, did shomone leave your cage open. Oi thresh no need for that schtick, I’ll quite comely. Ow get off! Schtop it Burpppppppp Hic Aaaarrrggghhh Hic

Right enough with frivolity and drunkeness for another week. Its time for a bit of music. Next up is one of those lovely live is best tracks, showing off the best live acts in the world doing what they do best. Then we will bring you another batch of Karaoke Classics, and then its the Alternative Music History class for you students of the industry.

U2 - Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Milan - 2005

So here we finally get to this weeks Karaoke Classic section. Just the three for you this week, as the pub was rather full of singers instead of us entertaining everyone else, not that we mind at all, give me more time to tell you about other stuff instead! So this weeks classics are as follows. 1. Ma Ma Ma Belle by ELO 2. Sin Sin Sin by Robbie Williams and last but not least 3. Pink by Aerosmith.

Ma Ma Ma Belle by ELO

Highest UK Chart Position: No 22 April 1974

A brand new track on Karaoke by one of the most underated bands ever, but everyone seems to love at least one ELO track. It was taken from the bands 1973 album On The Third Day. In the UK, the single version had a different mix from the album original and was edited in length. Marc Bolan plays twin lead guitar on the track alongside his friend Jeff Lynne. Ma Ma Ma Belle also featured on the ELO Ep in 1978. In the UK the B-side Oh No Not Susan found its way on to various DJs play lists at the BBC, unaware that the songs lyrics contained swearing. In the US, the B-Side Daybreaker received more airplay than the A-side thus, Daybreaker charted instead, despite being an intrumental.
On The Third Day was released in 1973 and failed to enter the UK charts at the time, although it did reach the US charts. Side two of the album was recorded during or shortly after the sessions for ELO's second album ELO 2, but unlike its predecessor it contains shorter tracks. By contrast, the four songs on side one of the album were linked into a continuous suite.
Violinist Mik Kaminski made his debut on side one of this album replacing Wilf Gibson, although Gibson plays on side two, plus the bonus tracks. Also, cellist Colin Walker left the line up around the same time, leaving Mike Edwards as lone cellist.
Of all other ELO albums, except for ELO 2, this might be considered closest in style to prog rock, with some elaborate band arrangements and complicated musical segments between tracks. The synthesizer can be heard prominently on several tracks, particularly as lead instrument on Daybreaker.
It was to be the last ELO album where Jeff Lynne attempted to re-create an orchestral sound in the studio by multi-tracking the cellos and solo violin of the band members. For the next album, a real orchestra was hired.
Marc Bolan played guitar on both Ma Ma Ma Belle and Dreaming of 4000, but was originally uncredited, as well as on Everyone's Born To Die, which was not released at the time but appears as a bonus track on the 2006 remaster, with Bolan credited for his part on the tracks.

Sin Sin Sin by Robbie Williams

Highest UK Chart Position: No 22 June 2006

I keep getting asked to sing the old Robster’s songs, and they always seem to go down well. This was the fourth and final track to be released from Robbie’s Intensive Care Album, and has the honour of being the first Robbie track not to reach the top twenty in the UK. After touring Latin America in late 2004 for the promotion of his Greatest Hits album, Williams started working on what would become his sixth studio album. Recorded in Robbie Williams' bedroom high in the Hollywood Hills, the album was co-written by Stephen ’Tin-Tin’ Duffy over the course of 24 months. The album was launched in Berlin, Germany in October. It was not shown on television, but broadcast to various locations around the world in cinemas and theatres, in a high-definition "cine-cast". It was shown on Saturday 22nd October 2005 on Channel 4. During the album launch, Williams said he would like to be the new King of Pop.
When Intensive Care was released in late October 2005, it became smash hit around the world, hitting number-one in the United Kingdom, selling 373,000 copies in its first week as well as topping the charts in 20 counties including Argentina, Australia, Austria, Germany, Sweden, Switzerland, The Netherlands, New Zealand and many other countries, debuting at number-one in the United World Chart selling over 900,000 copies worldwide with over 3 million copies shipped. The album became Williams' biggest international success in his career, selling over 2 million copies in only six weeks.
That November, Williams took home the MTV Europe Award for 'Best Male', but also, entered in the Guinness Book Of Records when he announced his World Tour for 2006, selling 1.6 million tickets in one single day. The album became the best selling album in Europe by the end of 2005 with sales over the 4 million copies. However, it only managed to be the third best selling album in the United Kingdom that year.
Williams kicked off his Close Encounters World Tour (See Last Weeks Bull Plop) in South Africa in April 2006, when he finished he'd European leg of the tour, 2.5 million had seen the show, and after Latin America and Australia the numbers when up to 3 million.
By the end of the promotion of the album, it was announced that it sold over 5 million copies in Europe alone being certified 5x Platinum by the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry ,it also certified 5 times Platinum in the United Kingdom becoming, at the time, his lowest selling studio album in the country. Worldwide the album went on to sell way over 8 million copies becoming Williams' best selling studio album around the world.
Sin Sin Sin was the first track written in collaboration with Duffy, and the third to be released off the album, after Tripping and Advertising Space. The video is another part of Robbie's tongue in cheek humour, making fun of himself and his affairs, featuring him as the guru of some sort of cult of pregnant women. He also has a kind of God look, him being the prophet. It was filmed near Cape Town, South Africa.

Pink by Aerosmith

Highest UK Chart Position: No 13 June 1999

Pink is by American greatest rock band Aerosmith. It was written by lead singer Steven Tyler and professional songwriters Richie Supa and Glen Ballard. It was released as the third major single from the bands 1997 album Nine Lives. The band re-released the song in the UK in 1999. The re-released version did much better, reaching number 13.
The song is highlighted by a harmonica performance by Steven Tyler at the beginning, as well as a strong bass rhythm throughout the song, and a mix of acoustic guitars and jangling electric guitars throughout the verses. Many of the lines in the verses start with the word Pink, such as, Pink is my favourite crayon, Pink is the love you discover, Pink it's the colour of passion, etc. However, there really is no set chorus, aside from the phrase and I think everything is going to be alright no matter what we do tonight.
In typical Steven Tyler style, the song has many sexual connotations, and the title itself is apparently a metaphor for the female genitalia, of which Pink is a slang term for, apparently!
For the time, the music video for the song was very high tech, using digital technology to morph characters together. A variety of random characters mixed in with band members walk down a corridor towards the viewer, morphing into different characters in the process, with Joe Perry and a horse, a midget Brad Whitford, and Steven Tyler as a baby to name but a few.
The song has gained notoriety as a fan favourite and a live gem, and remains one of the only songs from Nine Lives consistently played on Aerosmith tours to this day, along with Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees).
Nine Lives was the bands twelfth studio album and released in early 1997. The album was produced by Aerosmith and Kevin Shirley, and was the band's first studio album released by Colombia Records since 1982's Rock And A Hard Place. The booklet for Nine Lives contains 12 pieces of album art, including the cover. Each picture contains a smaller version of the previous picture within itself. The last picture is included in the first, creating an infinite loop. It was designed by Stepan Sagmeister, who allegedly has never received his fee for this work due to the controversy behind the cover. The original album art aroused the anger of some Hindus, who felt the artwork, taken from Hindu imagery and altered by giving the dancing figure a cat's head, was offensive. The image depicts Lord Krishna with a cat's head dancing on the head of the snake demon Agashura. The band had been unaware of the source of the artwork, and the record company apologized, and changed the artwork. Strangely enough, some copies with original covers have found their way to music store shelves in India, where Hinduism is the majority religion, and have not raised any further controversy.

The music world was saddened at the death of world famous opera singer Luciano Pavarotti last year. Who will ever forget him as one of the famous three tenors, and their performance at the 1990 World Cup in Italy, where they performed Nessun Dorma. But what if Luciano had followed another path. Opera may be OK for some, but I’m sure that his career would have been even bigger if he had been a member is hard rock band Kiss.

Not quite as scary as last week, but imagine how loud Kiss would of been with those set of lungs to belt out Rock And Roll All Nite! Anyway enough with the music this week, lets go to the cinema and see what I have to offer for you this week in.......

Now I know at least one of my regulars who would love to see that be made, but I'm telling you now, I still wouldn't go to see it, no matter how many light sabres are in it! And now we move swiftly onto this weeks...During his day’s as manager of West Brom, Ron Atkinson was close friends with the then Birmingham City boss Jim Smith. One night they went to see Billy Connolly in concert, at the Birmingham Hippodrome. After the show they both went to the Big Yin in his dressing room. Smith asked Billy if he found it easy to communicate with the Midlands audience.
“Och aye” said Billy “I love playing Birmingham”
“Don’t we all son” said Atko “Don’t we all!”

Well thats almost it from me folks this week. Hope you have enjoyed all this weeks entertainment as much as I have enjoyed bringing it to you. All that remains is to leave you with this week answer to Every Picture which I'm sure you all guessed to be.

See easy again. Well thats it folks. Thats to all the little helpers out their, who have spent time putting together all this stuff I bring to you every week. You know if it wasn't for the seedy photographers, those Hot Chick pictures would be a lot less hot, and if all those Classic Tracks had not been recorded it may of ended up being Boyzone or Westlife every week. So on that frightening prospect, I promise that in no way will this blog ever fall to such a low point! Until next week folks Bonjour!

You want answers?! You want the truth! You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You?! You, Lieutenant Weinberg?! I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives! You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall! You need me on that wall! We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline! I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said, "Thank you," and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!

Thursday 6th March 2008

Hello again folks to this week jam packed with action blog. So how have we all been then. Not to taxing on the brain I hope! Last week saw the introduction of a brand new look, with a few new features to add to the already bulging blog, and this week you will notice one or two little additions that I have worked on, and yes you’ve guessed it, another couple of little features to add on.
So what of this week then. Well your Captain has been quite busy with the old researching for the blog. Just so the wife doesn’t get to suspicious, I’ve laid off the hot chicks and concentrated on the Captain Jack Cocktails, but that in turn led me to looking for more hot chicks as the drink took over! Anyway I’m sure that all will become apparent as you read on.
As for the Planet Rock campaign, Quite a few positives from this week, with three bands coming out publicly in support of the Save Planet Rock Campaign. Take a bow The Answer, Marillion and Magnum!! I shall continue pestering whoever I can think of during the next week and see who else we can get on board. The petition sites are gaining ever more signatures, over 1500 on the youchoose one and over 700 on the Downing Street petition. If you haven’t added your name then please do. This is a worthwhile campaign, and the station is starting to create lots of interest now, and yet again the listening figures have rose, like I said last week, its surprising that the BBC Radio 6 station which has about 100,000 less listeners a day, has not even been mentioned in the DAB cull, yet Planet Rock has. Show your support and keep Britain Rocking folks!

So what have we got for you to look forward to this week then. Well all the regulars are here again, guess the song, Ronnie Wood’s Bull Plop, another fine Classic Track, a very Hot Chick, more crew members, It’s a Funny Old Game, a little drink in the cocktail bar, four Karaoke Classics (I thought it was time the section had a title folks) and all the rest of the gubbins, plus a couple of added extra’s to tickle your funny bones again, oh and a special report on one of your favourite T.V. shows, but lets crack on now with our little quiz known as……

Here we are then folks you know the score, but for those that have not yet read last week, where have you been! Anyway below is a picture of a well known song, and here is the chance to play a sort of Captain Jacks Catchphrase, but without Mr Chips or that annoying Irish comic Roy Walker!
So you look at the picture, and after are three brilliantly disguised clues as to the title of the said song, thus giving you the perfect opportunity to guess the hidden title of the said song! Then read on merrily through the rest of the blog, and just before the end, the answer will be revealed in all its glory savvy! Anyway here is the picture for you to peruse.

1. It was the bands breakthrough hit and reached number 2 in 1975
2. The lyrics of the song are an elaborate tribute to Noel Coward
3. In manga comic the songs title is the name of a famous male escort agency, which went on to be the basis of the gang in Quinten Tarentino’s Kill Bill films.


Got it, I’m sure you have, but if not carry on reading and the answer is not to far away!
But now its time for this weeks latest edition into the Captain Jacks Hall Of Fame, with my classic track.

Classic Track # 7

Highway To Hell - AC/DC 1979

Well lets face it, this one was bound to be on here sooner or later, and it does kind of have all the qualities of my previous classic tracks. Highway To Hell is the opening track of the group's 1979 album, wait for it, Highway To Hell.The song was written by Bon Scott, Angus Young and brother Malcolm Young, while the main guitar riff was created by Malcolm Young. The track has become one of the most famous songs in Rock history.

AC/DC had made several studio albums before and was constantly supporting them by going on a grueling tour schedule. The song and album's title supposedly came after a reporter asked band members if they could describe what life was like being constantly on tour. Angus replied that when your out on tour on a bus with another guys sock in your face night after night, then that was "a f@#*ing highway to Hell", and the name stuck.

Rumours persisted that the band members were satanists, and the album cover depicting Angus with devil horns and tail only added fuel to the fire. The band has denied having anything to do with Satanism, Malcolm Young having even commented that "me mum would kill me for that!”
The origin of the title of the song more likely comes from lead singer Bon Scott who came from Perth in Western Australia. Scott's local pub, The Raffles Hotel, was on Canning Highway at the bottom of a very steep hill, at an intersection which saw so many road crashes the road became known as the Highway to Hell. If you listen to the lyrics it becomes very obvious that Bon was singing about going down to his local pub for a drink, and for good times with his mates, and to get there he'd travel Canning Highway, the Highway To Hell.
Nevertheless, this track brought AC/DC its first million-copy-selling album, and sent Highway to Hell to number 17 on the charts. Scott would be found dead in the back of a friend's car just over six months later. On February 19th 1980, Bon Scott passed out after a night of heavy drinking in a London club called Music Machine, better known as Camden Palace, and was left to sleep in a car owned by an acquaintance named Alistair Kinnear. The following afternoon, after Kinnear had found Scott lifeless and alerted authorities, Scott was rushed to King’s College Hospital, where he was pronounced dead on arrival. Although it was reported claims that pulmonary aspiration of vomit or drugs were the cause of Scott's death, the official cause was listed as acute alcohol poisoning and death by misadventure. Scott was cremated and his ashes were interred by his family in Fremantle, the area to which they had immigrated when he was a child.
The success of the Highway to Hell song and album set AC/DC on track to record its most famous album and tribute to Bon, Back In Black, with new lead singer Brian Johnson, one year later.

The song has been covered by rock icons, with Marilyn Manson, and Chester Bennington with Slash, and also Slash’s own band Snakepit to name a few, but it is also the inspiration behind Jack Black’s character, Dewey Finn, in the hit film School Of Rock, where Black dressed up as Angus Young in his school uniform in the film.

More next week from the Classic Track Hall Of Fame. The education of the nation is coming to you all, right here every week. None of your Westlife and Boyzone rubbish here! Well I do have to keep the First Mate happy and in rum! Anyway back on track now with this weeks.......

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spots an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolls to a stop at the kerb, a figure leaps into the cab and slams the door. Checking his rear view mirror as he pulls away, the cabbie is startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
"Er, where to?" he stammers.
"Just take me to the Station," answers the woman.
"You got it," he nods, taking another long glance in the mirror.
Looking up, the woman catches him staring. "Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?"
The driver coughs politely. "Well, I'd just noticed that you're completely naked."
"So?"
"Well I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare." Nodding slowly, the woman spreads her legs and puts her feet up on the front seat headrests.
"Well," she smiles at the driver. "Does this answer your question?"
"Bloody hell," cries the cabbie, still staring in the mirror. "Got anything smaller?"

Ya har me old scallywags, an welcome one an all to my latest crew member. This weeks wench sets her sail on her vessel known as The Drunken Whore, an she goes by the name of Gurglin’ Julia Napier, or as ye landlubbers know her, Paris Hilton, Shiver Me Timbers Aaaarr Jim Lad.
This bilge sucking temptress of the waves is well know aboard ship for her pieces of eight, and can oft be heard asking to weigh anchor in poop bay. Ah ha matey!
Her love of the grog has got her into the briny deep me hearties, and she once had a spell in shackles after bein caught three sheet to the wind once to often. Thar she blows!
Always kept shipshape, this fair lassie is a regular at Jolly Roger, and many a sea dog has a tale or two about her cat o nine tails. Splice the main brace with booty ye old Hornswaggler.
I must heave ho now me hearties, but be sure to venture back here next week for more of the crew. Aaaaarrrrrhggh!

And now folks its that moment you have all been waiting for. That old rabscalion Ronnie has been out and about scouring the celebrity world for this weeks.....

So here we are again with Ronnie Wood’s chance to bring you the latest celebrity gossip in his own inimitable way, through the means of art, and what has he found for us this week then. Well it’s a kind of weird one this week, but when you see who its by, all will make sense I’m sure.
Pop superstar Robbie Williams claims he seen UFO’s several times. The Stokie Singer say’s he may even give up his music and become a full time ufologist!
Robbie said he also believes ghosts are from other worlds. He claims he first saw a UFO as a kid in Burslem, but that can be explained as just a bad Vale performance!
Another was above a hotel in Beverley Hills. During an interview by his showbiz pal Joss Stone, he told her he had been lying on a sun lounger one night after a heavy session in the bar, when he saw glowing light above his head, that passed over him before shooting off, Hmm we’ve all been there matey! After also claiming in the interview in believing in ghosts, the chirpy chappy said “People will think I’m mental, which I am!” No as if!
So as you can see Ronnie has caught the Robster walking alone in the woods, probably after a little tipple at the Captain Jack Cocktail bar, with a rather surprised look on his face. Good old Ronnie, keep up the good work. More celebrity shenanigans next week.

If ever my advertising campaign was appropriate, then I think that picture just about sums up how nuts the celebrity world is, do you know how much I had to pay NASA to get that space dude to hold that bleeding note up in the air, and it wasn't even written in the right font! Bloody cheapskates! Anyway its mid session time, and before you get all hot under the collar, its time for this weeks little game in..........

Presidential Paintball

Now after all that fun shooting Hilary, well lets face it Bill's shot at her a few times in the White House I'm sure, its time for this weeks...........

Now here we are again at the point in the blog that send temperatures rising, yes its time for another of my Hot Chicks. This week I have chosen a young lady on her looks alone, no acting, no drink related mishaps, no boob jobs, no throwing up in the back of Paris Hiltons car, just your everyday swimsuit model, proving that my Hot Chick don’t all have to be household names to make it on the list, just, well hot!
Marisa Miller was born on August 6th 1978, and is an American model. She is known for her many appearances in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Magazine and Victoria’s Secret catalogues . She is the cover model for the 2008 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

Born Marisa Bertetta in Santa Cruz, California, she was first discovered at age 16 walking through a San Francisco café by two Italian modeling agents. After talking to her mum Krista Bertetta, she was on a plane to Italy with her mum a few months later.
Marisa says that the most valuable thing that her mum has ever told her was "You can always go back to school but you may not always be able to model."

Marisa took her mum's advice and soon gained attention when she appeared in a 1997 issue of Perfect 10 magazine. Although she came in third behind Ashley Degenfeld and Monica Hansen in Perfect 10 magazine's first annual model search, she was repeatedly showcased in following issues, including the covers of the Winter 1998, Aug/Sept 1999, and Fall 2004 editions. She has two sisters and attended Monte Vista Christian School in Watsonville, California, where she learnt all her good old fashioned Christian values, like being photographed with your norks hanging half out.

Typically, Marisa was able to move from a start as an amateur magazine model to high profile mainstream work after she was spotted by fashion photographer Mario Testino in California in 2001.
Noticing Marisa, Mario snapped pictures of her and approached her for a job offer. Soon after, Marisa worked with the likes of Victoria’s Secret and has appeared in every issue of the coveted Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition since 2002.

In particular, she was featured in the 2004, 2005, 2007, and 2008 editions' sections of body painting, featuring the work of Joanne Gair.

Raphael Mazzucco's photograph of Marisa wearing nothing but an iPod in the 2007 edition became one of the most famous photos ever published in that magazine.

In 2004, she served as a modeling judge in the short-lived reality television series Manhunt:The search for America‘s next hunk, and the same year she also appeared in Puddle Of Mudd's music video for Spin You Around. In 2007, Marisa shot her first T.V. commercial for Victoria's Secret with fellow supermodel Heidi Klum, causing quite a stir unexpectedly drawing more attention than Klum, as well as appearing in a cameo on the HBO show Entourage.
Marisa married Jim Miller, a Los Angeles surfing contest promoter and lifeguard from California in 2000, boo, but separated from him in 2002, hooray!. They divorced soon after. She has since married Hollywood producer, Griffin Guess in 2006, boo again!
Marisa enjoys American Football, and she is a keen Philadelphia Eagles fan, muscle cars, cooking, and boxing. From an early age she loved surfing, was a standout volleyball player on her high school team, and has long been a big sports fan in general. She's said that if she weren't a model she would be a sportscaster.
As you can see here the life of a swimsuit model is not all fun. First of all you get your highly tanned bottom being stared at by a pervy photographer while your standing in your underwear.

Then your made to stand in the cold water, tells you to take your top off and then stand in there with just your bikini bottoms on!

Then kneel on the sand almost naked with just your arms covering your threpney bits!

You know I really must think of a career change, this photography lark seems like a dream come true! Well you have been warned about new features popping up, and before we head to the Cocktail Lounge, here is the latest and greatest addition to the blog.........

Its been the biggest film franchise ever, and the whole of the worlds nerds are waiting with baited breath for George Lucas to bring out his Clone Wars T.V. series later in the year. That’s right Star Wars. Now we all know and love the regular characters, you know R2 D2, Luke, Leia, Chewbacca, Darth Vader to name but a few, but what if just what if some of our more illustrious celebs had got the parts in the films, what would we of made of that. Well here is your chance to find out. Every week I’ll bring you another top celeb and the Star Wars they would look best at playing, if they had got the role that is!

Yes you’ve got it, it’s Mr T as Yoda. I Ain’t getting’ on no Millennium Falcon Fool!

Now as you know this little blog like to keep you informed on all the best T.V. shows, and after those pesky writer had their little strike and put the scheduals back a decade I have an announcement on the latest news for one of mine and I'm sure one of your fave shows.

I’ve got good news and bad news for you fans of Fox’s hit series “24.” Want to hear the good news first? The network has OK’ed a special two-hour TV movie that will bridge the gap between the end of the sixth season and the start of the upcoming seventh season. Sounds decent, right? Well, here comes the bad news: you won’t get to see the movie until this fall and the start of the seventh season of “24” has been pushed back to January 2009.
All of this comes as part of the fallout of the three-month long writers strike. The show was in production when the strike hit Hollywood so only eight of the planned-for 24 episodes of this new year could be finished. The delay actually worked out for everyone since Kiefer Sutherland had to do some jail time as a result of a DUI conviction. Nevertheless, it appears that Fox doesn’t want to start broadcasting the show until all of the episodes are in the can.
The seventh season was going to be a little different than earlier ones in that for the first time ever the show’s setting would be based in Washington D.C., the new home for the Counter-Terrorism Unit, and not Los Angeles (Jack Bauer has probably blown up too much stuff around the greater Los Angeles area anyway.) As well, the show was going to introduce a female president (to be played by Cherry Jones).
There’s no word on what the storyline will be for the “24” movie or if the show’s producers will adapt the episodic real-time nature of the regular episodes to the two-hour show. Maybe the makers are using their idea for a proposed feature length “24” movie that Fox was kicking around for a while.

I know its not everyones cup of tea, but I have watched it from the start, and like most T.V. shows with a cult status, it does get you excited if you have watched it from the start. Anyway does anyone fancy a little drinky. Well lets go and have one or three then.

Welcome one and all to the cocktail lounge. Here we have for you another super little drinkie to try, and of course, so you don’t go off half cocked, I’ll try a couple myself, just well, you know to let you know how they taste, purely scientific of course. And this weeks tasty tipple should be, I’m told, drank very carefully as it’s a bit of a strong one.

Zombie

1 measure of Dark Rum
1 measure of White Rum
1 measure of pineapple juice
1 teaspoon of caster sugar

Pour the ingredients together into a cocktail shaker and strain into a long tumbler. Decorate the glass with a cherry, and a slice of pineapple.

Right were off then. Bottoms Up. Hmmm ooohh that’s got a bit of a kick too it. Right lets have another then. Sho hello ofishher wot are you doin here. Oi thresh no need to get ruf matey. Im jush havin a little dwinkey poo. No im not parked oushide. Whayt do you mean thers bbeen a complaint. Tell em to come and have a cuddle here wiv me.
Sho do you cum herr offen den. No onest I’ve only had the two dwinks. Now thersg no kneed to call for back up, Its alwight oshifer I come quiteky, quality, quiglifyt, as soon ash I can schtnad up, Eh up whast that ooooh itshc the floor!! BUrrrpp!

Right the fun moves into the music world now. As usual we have all your favourite sections, all now with brand spanking new logos to boot. So lets get started with this weeks........

Genesis - Mama

Wembley London 1987

Oooohh its all shiny and got its own title now. Yes here is the brand new Karaoke Classics section. Its just a way of filling space really!. So this week what little ditties do I bring to you this week. Well I did get to sing four songs, but one was, well shall we say, thrust upon me, and to be fair was not my choice, so I will only be writing up on three songs this week. All will become clear in a minute. So this weeks songs were as follows, 1. Rosalie by Thin Lizzy 2. Who’s Got A Match by Biffy Clyro 3. Rockstar by Nickleback and 4. Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf (Yet again with little Leeane, I’m getting drawn into the only sing the same stuff club! Still it is a great song……not!)

Rosalie by Thin Lizzy

Highest UK Chart Position: No 21 June 1978

An absolute gem of a track first up this week. Thin Lizzy covered this Bob Segar track, and with Phil Lynotts style, they made the track their own. The song by Segar had a much more country feel to it, but Thin Lizzy gave it that rock edge which made it one of their most popular live tracks, with Lynott often commenting during the guitar break, “Are there any of the girls in the audience with ant Irish in them?…..Is there any girls in the audience who would like any Irish in them!”
The group was founded in late 1969 in Dublin, by Lynott, guitarist Eric Bell, electric organist Eric Wrixon and drummer Brian Downey. Wrixon was gone by early 1970, and the group relocated to London in 1971. Signing a contract with Decca Records, Thin Lizzy's first hit came in 1973, with Whiskey In The Jar, a version of a traditional Irish song.
After that the rest is history as the band wrote itself into British Rock Legend with its edgy Irish style, and Phil Lynotts loveable character.
Lynott lived the life of a rock legend, befriending another loveable Irish rogue of the time George Best, who referred to Phil as the only guy he knew who could match him drink for drink. Lynott's last years were dogged by drug and alcohol dependency, and on the night of Christmas Day 1985, he was rushed to hospital suffering from a kidney and liver infection. He died of heart failure and pneumonia on 4th January 1986 at the tender age of 36, fifteen years to the day of the release of Thin Lizzy’s debut album.
A life-size bronze statue of Phil Lynott was unveiled on Harry Street, Dublin in 2005. The ceremony was attended by former band members Gary Moore, Brian Robertson, Brian Downey, and Scott Gorham, and by Lynott's mother, Philomena. The attending Thin Lizzy members paid tribute with a live performance. His grave in St Fintans Cemetary in Sutton is regularly visited by family, friends, and fans.
In 2006, a Thin Lizzy tribute band played at the Nerve Center, Derry, in memory of Phil Lynott. During the gig, Phil Lynott's mother came onto the stage and sang vocals on Dancin' in the Moonlight in memory of her son.
The same year, Lynott's mother allowed Micky Waters, bass guitarist of The Answer, to be the first to play her son's bass since his death. The bass was also used in the band's music video for the single Keep Believin‘.

Who’s Got A Match by Biffy Clyro

Highest UK Chart Position: No 27 February 2008

Well you really have to see them live to appreciate them, honest. This is the fifth single off the bands hugely successful album Puzzle, which has been on Kerrang Magazines must own list since it was released in 2007.
Biffy Clyro affectionately known just as Biffy, are from Ayreshire, Scotland, and consist of members are lead vocalist and guitarist, Simon Neil, James Johnson on bass and Ben Johnson on drums. Although the band have always had a dedicated following and have been around since the mid-1990s as well as producing an EP and four albums, it is only in 2007 with their fourth album, Puzzle that they have found real commercial success. This album is seen as less heavy and experimental, and more widely accessible and has won wide critical acclaim, however many of the fans that had followed the band for a long time have not warmed especially to the new direction of their music. Puzzle has been championed on TV and radio, especially Radio Ones Jo Wiley and Colin Murray, and Biffy have promoted it with a tour and many festival performances over the summer of 2007, including the Download Festival at Donnington.
Biffy's sound is a heavy but melodic mixture of guitar, bass and drums, with all three band members contributing to vocals. They are known for complex and interwoven guitar picks, strums and melodies, that change many times within each track.
The band themselves cite influences ranging from rock heavyweights such as Metallica, to prog legends Rush, while reviewers are often quick to link their sound to the likes of Nirvana, particularly in their use of shifting dynamics and melodies. The band utilise a quiet-loud dynamic, constructing songs that can range from a whisper-quiet pick on the guitar, to huge walls of noise with massive distortion and crashing drums.
While Simon Neil sings lead, all three members provide vocals, ranging from screaming to multi-part harmonies. Only when seen live is it possible to discern who is singing, as the three vocals intertwine so effectively. Their style of songwriting often depends on constant changes in volume, timing and even genre, displaying an eclectic range of influences even within one song. However, on Puzzle they seem to have developed a more straightforward rock style, saying that they no longer need to make every song complex. However, the sound still retains Biffy's trademark 'size', with orchestral arrangements on some tracks helping to maintain this. The lyrics are often cryptic, with obscure influences from literature, although many tracks on Puzzle appear to be a reaction to bereavement, likely the recent passing away of lead singer Simon Neil's mother, and a search for meaning in our mortality.

Rockstar by Nickleback

Highest UK Chart Position: No 2

Now by the end of this you might think by the end of this write up that I don’t like this song, or this band for that matter, hmmm toughie that one. You see I have this thing about Nickleback. I sang How You Remind Me last week, as a kind of prelude to singing Rockstar. Now HYRM was the bands biggest hit until Rockstar, that’s a fact. In 2005 Nickleback released their fifth album All The Right Reasons, and heavily toured the album, supporting Bon Jovi (No lookie likey comparisons there then!) on their World Tour. The song was released in 2005, off the back of the album, but did nothing in the charts either here or in the states.
But in 2007 the song was remixed with a new video, and voila, it has become the bands biggest hit so far.
The song details the stereotype that some people have about the life of a rockstar. The lyrics describe the desires of a person aspiring to fame, and features many beliefs of what fame can bring. When the song was first released, no video was shot for the track, but on its re-release the video was shot with celebrities and non-celebrities lip synching to the lyrics.
The non-celebrities are often filmed in front of iconic landmarks, such as Times Square in New York and The Millennium Footbridge in London. Celebrities include Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top, who voices his lines in the song, Chuck Liddle , Dale Earnhardt Jnr, Elisa Dushku, Gene Simmons, Wayne Gretsky and Nelly Furtado. Sometimes the lyric they are lip synching relates to themselves. At the end of the video Nickelback is shown playing live on stage.
Now this thing I have about the band is, well I just think they live by their own lyrics to much. They do appear to think they are big Rockstars, well if that’s the case how come its taken two years for anyone to like the song. I listened to the album when it came out, and it was less than awe inspiring then, and to be fair, its far from the best song on the album. It is catchy, granted, but more irritating in a few weeks catchy than How You Remind Me Catchy.
The band seem to have fell into the cheesy pop rock band culture, rather than the hard rocking band they once aspired to be, but then this is the age of throw away rock, and if you can have a hit with a song that over two years old then good luck to you. I will reserve my judgement on the band for now, and just go with the majority who missed this song when it was first released, and who knows, when their next big hit comes around in about three years time, then maybe we can all jump on that bandwagon as well. Good song but definitely a marmite band!

Paradise By The Dashboard Light by Meatloaf

No UK Chart Release

Now lets face it, in time I've told you about the song, the video, the singer and the writer of the song, so whats next. Well it does seem I'm the resident Meatloaf singer, so to give someone else a chance here is the Karaoke version, so you can practice and have a go yourself. Enjoy!

Now with all that top music to entertain you, how about a bit of alternative musical history in...............

Right our next new feature is a little section called Alternative Music History. Now we all know and love our pop stars, and lets face it they are all pretty much known for what they do best. But what if their careers had gone in another direction, who knows how they would of gone on, or if they had been famous at all. So lets start off with the greatest band of all The Rolling Stones. We all know the band as Charlie Watts on drums, Mick Jagger on vocals, Ronnie Wood on guitar, and Keith Richards on Lead Guitar, but what if Keith had not made it through the drug and booze fuelled years, and h had been replaced by……….Cliff Richard. Thank God this never happened!!!!!

I shudder at the thought of that every time I look at the picture and see his beady little eyes poking out at me, God its like a nightmare! So enough lets move on sharply to the next block buster that will never be seen in......

Now come on, who wouldn't want to see that one. And I'm sure that a great role could be found for Rodney and they could even dig up Uncle Albert! So that's almost it folks. As you know the Fifa games have hit a halt, with Shaun still on undercover operations in Russia, so here again is the take over section, known as..........

Graham Souness, once Southampton manager, was drawn into the daftest football transfer ever. Souness received a call from someone claiming to be George Weah, World Footballer Of The Year at the time, recommending he sign his cousin from Senagal, one Ali Dia.
Souness fell for it hook, line and as it turned out, stinker. Dia was signed and made his debut as a sub against Leeds United. Souness watch stunned and open mouthed as Dia struggled to control the ball and continue to run round like a headless chicken, with no idea of positioning.
The player was then substituted after only 20 minutes and never kicked another ball for Southampton. He joined non league Gateshead and was equally useless for them. When Souness met George Weah at a match, he asked if he knew him. “Ali Dia? Never heard of him!”

Well thats nearly it folks for another week. Seems like such a long time ago now, but here is the answer to Every Picture Sings A Song, where you have to get one song right, not 75! (Nice One Shaun). Well it was a bit obvious this week. Of course the answer was..........

So another week is over, and soon it will be all starting again, ready for next weeks exciting blog. More intensive hours will be put to good use for your entertainment again. Thanks again for being here, without you all I would just be a figment of my over active imagination. Until next time I will leave you with this weeks Classic Film Quote. See ya me Hearties!

"You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"